Wow! You're a great writer, really enjoyed this. Characterization was spot on.

I think you have done really well for your first fanfic!
That was great!

Ahhh, I thought this fandom was dead. I come back YEARS later (honestly, a good 12 years) to get my fix and have found this lovely gem! Everyone has their thoughts on Squall's and Seifer's respective personality, but I will just offer my opinion. Seifer, in this, is ideal. Squall is close to how I like him. You developed him very well, but he was a little too submissive for my liking in the sex part. However, I still absolutely loved it and I know you were trying to convey him as a fighter in that part so it was very good! Considering this was your first piece, I think you did exceptionally well. As some of the other reviewers have mentioned, many writers are teenaged girls that like all that girly crap and call everything kawaii, but there was nothing like that in this! Keep up the great work and I hope to read more of your writing.

3 A Squall/Seifer shipper for life.

This was amazing! One of the best Squall x Seifer fics ever! I loved reading this and how you explained everything at a gradual pace. You described all of the little things which made it even more fun to read. I loved this soooo much. Seifer and Squall - this is exactly how I pictured their relationship to be if they were ever to have one. Lol, thank you for writing this.! :D

lol, that was the funniest SquSeif story I've read in a loooong time! It was perfect for it's genres and whatnot. Really loved the sex scene too, greatly written. ;D

god, what an amazing fic! rarely read such a good lemon. it's definitely ranking amongst my five favorite lemons, haven't decided on the actual rank yet (gotta read it again ;) ). you kept both squall and seifer astonishingly perfect in character and their sex-talk was probably the hottest thing i've ever heard (and i've heard some pretty good stuff XD).

wow, i'm just baffled, really. i can hardly express my happiness right now :D though i bet the morning and maybe days after would have been nice to read too, but i can make up my own version of it

anyway, awesome job!

I absolutely love this story. I'm so glad that are still good fanfic writers out there devoted to FF8 fandom. It's one of my favourite games .

Your characterisations are quite believable, especially Seifer's. I always think that Squall's not really the type to swear much but I like the fact that his eyes speak a thousand words :D. Very steamy lemon scene as well; Well Done XD

Thanks for writing this fic. Please continue writing; i don't mind a new story, a sequel, anything really :) Btw, this is totally unrelated but great to know there's another ff8 fan in the UK (as I am one and have never met another fan).

Awesome smut! :D

two thumbs up!

AWESOME STORY! I think you really nailed Seifer!

Wow.

Eh, what did you say? A sequel and it might be mini series for they finally develop feelings toward each other?

And what was that? A Rinoa bashing as bonus? Cool!

Can't wait!

Anyway, I quite disagree if this long one-shot is boring.

Well, it is a LONG one-shot story. But what I like from long one-shot story is it tell us that you made the story WITH real PLOT. Not just that short of pwp thing where both charas could fall in love and screw each other's brains out in sudden.

Delicious! That was really great! I had fun reading this story. -

thumbs up! :)

o_o That was the hottest Squall/Seifer fic I've ever read x.x VERY nicely written. And it's not stupidly long XD I liked it~ Good job!

absolutely amazing *_* that must have been the hottest thing I've read in a long while... favd and put you on author alert, since I'm desperatly hoping for more of this goodiness!

Alright, I /just/ posted a review but then I was scrolling through the other reviews and felt the need to say more than I had. The following will likely be a ramble about how good the story is and things you can improve as you develop as a writer. Keep in mind as you read that I am an extremely harsh critic and don't bother to review bad or even so-so fanfiction (I reserve my time and words for good and excellent work). This means two things: I wouldn't write this if I didn't think you were worth it and therefore, this is not an attack, it is, foremost, compliment.

First of all, that Chemotaxis and Wolkje read and reviewed but failed to send /me/ a recommendation pains me. DON'T YOU GUYS LOVE ME ANYMORE! Why would you keep this from me? You /know/ I'm really too busy with finals and such to be fanfiction surfing (not that that has stopped me tonight...)

But back to you kitty. Chem and Wolk are both extremely talented writers; treasure their compliments (trust me, I have the privilege of seeing their work in beta stage, and it's amazing even before the final coat of polish). Please, please ignore all the people who are telling you this is only sort-of good. It is very, /very/ good. My only complaint is that the sex scene was a little hurried (I would have liked to see Squall fight back a little more). However! A couple of your reviewers have eluded that perhaps Seifer and Squall are either too flat/boring or that they're somehow too much like their in-game selves. All of that is complete rubbish, of course. I have been reading, reviewing, and editing fanfiction long enough to tell you that your writing is far better than most authors. In truth, I don't usually bother coming onto this site because it's over run with teenage girls who have absolutely no idea how to develop character, setting, or plot. I promise you, the people giving you bad reviews are incorrect.

Seifer as a slut is, quite frankly, not overdone. A few people have tried it unsuccessfully, but most writers steer away from it because they're entirely too wrapped up in narrow views of relationships. A slew of teenagers living 24/7/365 in a military academy, a number of them orphans, knowing they are likely to end up either in an army (recall that Galbadia recruited from both B and G Gardens) or an elite mercenary program (SeeD of course) and thus they are likely to live short lives would undoubtedly lead to copious amounts of casual sex. It just would. Certainly there would be those who try to have relationships, but they're teenagers! We've all been through middle school and high school; teenage relationships almost never last, and as a classmate of mine once observed, "You don't lose your girlfriend, you just lose your turn." I like this characterization of Seifer (his ego was a little much for me, but it's probably pretty accurate to canon).

Let's talk about Squall. Most authors paint him as a one-dimensional, moronic, oblivious emotrain. Certainly he's a brooder, but I know lots of people who brood and it's not because they're excessively angsty. They just like to think: in my experience it's often a sign of someone really creative or really intelligent. I love that Squall gets mad. So many fanfiction authors think he never, ever gets angry, but clearly, if you watch the opening video he has quite the temper, fueled by pride, and he knows how to wield it. (With a gunblade.) I wasn't fond of him in khakis, but that's totally your call. I never think of his leather as his battle-gear but as his street clothes. (This bit is of course entirely personal opinion/preference and bears no weight on the quality of your storytelling.)

The fact that Squall so casually/naturally walked into Seifer's room and planted himself on the bed was a little hard to believe. He's never been there before and he's clearly not drunk enough to not be thinking straight. Then again, this is from Seifer's POV, so we don't knwo what Squall is thinking. Maybe this was his intention from the get-go. In any case, thank you for not having them suddenly fall madly in love after one round of half-intoxicated sex; I get sick of those. The casual way they discuss the possibility of future encounters fits the act perfectly: just two horny teenage dudes having some fun and making themselves feel good. Very well done.

In truth, I sort of wanted Squall on top at the end. As I mentioned earlier, he should have fought back a little harder if potentially gaining dominance was his aim, but you do excuse that away. On that note though, having been in a military academy this long, Squall would have been taught and/or learned on his own how to cope in hand-to-hand combat against someone bigger than him (something to consider for your next piece).

Oh, that reminds me! I love the way Seifer basically says "fuck you" when Squall is taking his rage-fest too far. "I'm still not going to beat the shit out of you just because you had a tiff with your girl." - this line is total gold.

Another thing to think about: Rinoa has made her way through the ranks? When? That puts the story a little AU. When does this scene take place: before/after Ultimecia or on a different time line/AU? Because in the game she doesn't spend much time at Garden (minus the SeeD ball, and I assume she was Seifer's date); she goes right from her relationship with Seifer to the one with Squall in canon. I have no problem with deviating from canon, but if you're going to do so, you need to prepare an explanation of what/why/how the world is different from the canon.

Also, remember as you write that it's your story, it's your take on the world, and your characterization. When people tell you "X should be more A, and Y should be more B," take those only as suggestions because they are simply opinions, not authorities. Characters are intentionally multifaceted in any story so that they can be interpreted differently by different people; if they couldn't be, they would be boring (as so many in fanfiction are). It's your story, write it the way you see it (but make us see it your way too, at least for the context of your writing!).

Now that I've prattled on, I want to restate that this story is very well done, and /excellent/ for a first time poster. If you don't believe me, browse through the slew of utter sewage that fills this site. (On that note, post this on adultfanfiction(.net). It will be well-received there. I think I'm going to send Sukunami over to read this; she's been far too busy to write lately, but I'm sure she'll appreciate a good round of SxS sexiness. If you haven't read her, by the way, check her out: doushi-sumeragi(.net).

I want to close by reiterating that you have had the compliments of some very talented writers (I mentioned Chem and Wolk specifically, but there are a couple others too); I humbly add my own compliments as very serious editor (it's my career focus). I have been reading fanfiction for almost ten years, so though I have not made a name for myself as a writer here, I have read pretty much everything that's worth reading and a lot of garbage that should never have been posted. This piece definitely falls into the former category and you should be proud of your accomplishment.

Oh, and don't apologize for long stories. People who post a couple hundred words and call it a chapter have clearly never read a book. Even short-stories/one-shots should have some substance, unless it really is straight sex, in which case it should begin with the characters already in the act (whether that's kissing, penetrating, having the after-sex cigarette, or somewhere in between). Readers who are looking just for smut will soon learn how to CtrlF and search for the key terms that signal the sexual encounter. Many of your other readers will fully appreciate that you took the time to tell a story (and those who throw a fit aren't worth your time anyway.) In fact, I'll be the first to admit that sometimes I go looking for a one-shot sex scene but if it's a well-written short story instead of just a PWP, I'll take the time to read the whole thing (happened tonight actually, and look at all the words you've dragged out of my keyboard for it!).

Alright, that's quite enough. My essays aren't going to write themselves. I've said it a few times already by now, but once more for the road: I look forward to your next piece! (and actually, I never do this, but if you're looking for an editor, I know one that might be interested _~)

Thank you for your words, Aera