Ohoho my gahahad... WHY CAN'T I STOP CRYING?! I just hope my cousin could get married like that some day! To bad uncle Joel and aunt Emily sent him to a foster home for it. THEY SHOULD BURN IN HELL. IM going to share this story with Fred, AND THEN HE WILL BE HAPPY. of to go love the shit outta my cousin! PEACE

namekians font have dicks

This fan fiction is stupid

Eh overall the book was more of a story with already given background, it was a good attempt for a starting writer but there was noticeable traces of your own personality coming out in this. I know all of this is in theory but you still have to remember to keep the characteristics the same in the character maybe in future stories imagine if this were an episode could you see everything they say in the story the same in an episode, be honest not an episode you want but I episode that would be aired from the writers if given this scenario at the least if it is difficult for you not to release a bit of you in the story make up a new character as an outlet to help channel the story. I am not saying it was bad because you did do okay its just some of the scenes were too intense or out of proportion for the characters behavior. I hope you take my advice to heart and grow as a writer. Who know its been 5 years maybe you have already learned this...

"You shouldn't just cast them out of your lives."
Well, what about Krillin? Kicked out, never spoken of again.
People already talked about Piccolo being a homophobe (which I still don't understand), but he sides with ChiChi. ChiChi HATES Piccolo. Piccolo likes Goku way better. He fought alongside him. He respects Goku.
"Your better parent is right!" Piccolo isn't his parent... Piccolo can't ground Gohan. If Gohan is like 13 in this, Piccolo is 17 :/. And furthermore, Piccolo can't ground anyone. Why is Mr. Popo a homophobe? Did you just make all the characters you didn't like have all negative characteristics?
Anyway, besides being really OOC, it was fairly good

It was okay... 9.5/10

geez. too many homophobes in this story. you'd think piccolo of all people would understand, he's just jealous because dende will steal gohan away from him! lol. but seriously. the nameks are genderless so they can't be gay, or straight for that matter.

I have a very serious problem with this story. You do realize that Namekians reproduce asexually right? I'm pretty sure that means they don't have genders. At the very least it means that they do not have more than one gender. Have you even notices that they have never shown a female Namekian on the show? As such, it is completely unbelievable that Piccolo would have a problem with Dende being homosexual.

Why in the nine hells would a sexless, asexual, self-reproducing alien give a shit about sexuality at all? That is just about the stupidest thing I've seen, and I've watched reality tv (not by my own will, mind you)

Um, not to be a know-it-all, but Piccolo would have heard Dende... just saying...

OMG! that was so wierd!

Yay its a good ending.

Im really glad Chi-Chi was only so cruel 'cous she was pregnant.

Great Story. :D

Heya,

I really love this Story.

Pleas write more. :)

keep it going!

wow good story...your not finishinging here are you?please keep makeing the story