that's gotta look kinda creepy at the end there, someone leaning over a (possibly) dead person and smiling...

the story isn't bad but could do with some improvement. i'm not an expert or anything so i can't really tell you what to improve in. good luck with this story though

Is there a first part to this.

anything's possible with fanfictions! ftw! *winks*

this is getting good 8D

PLEASE UPDATE SOON! :D

Some thoughts and constructive criticism:

Um...was this suppose to be really ambiguous? It doesn't seem to have much to do w/ K-ON characters other than Ritsu was mentioned and Mio was implied as "I".

Also 1 cell making it impossible to reproduce by yourself? Highly unlikely, a cell shouldn't do much. Plus even isolating yourself on the same continent as other men you're going to get "exposed" by wind blowing their skin particles for miles. Women would probably have to conquer Australia or something and then nuke the abandoned continent to get rid of men's presence.

Your idea also seems not very plausible because one cell (from another person) couldn't really effect hormones in any one else. It'd take a full living person's presence to effect hormones, which effects reproduction. Like when you're around a lot of girl friends in Jr High/High school on a fairly continual basis. Hormones somehow intermingle and you start getting your period the same time your girl friends do. Kind of like how fruit gives off a substance that ripens it. If you took a cell of an apple and put it on another apple, it wouldn't be capable of giving off that ripening substance.

And I thought we had this technology now, or maybe they were just experimenting, but I heard somewhere they can manipulate genes so you can pick your baby's eye color, sex, hair color, stuff like that. We might have the technology and the government's just hiding it in a Patriot-control conspiracy! Sorry couldn't help myself *reference to Metal Gear Solid*.

Anyway I mention this whether it's true or not as a more plausible way females could reproduce by themselves. Gene manipulation ftw!

The idea of putting K-ON in a extreme feminist future is intriguing, but it's going to be a heck of a long time, if ever, that we're going to escape our gender roles completely. Just like it'll take a long time for everyone to truly not be racist. I'm pretty sure for either to be eradicated, you'd need to isolate an island with few children (probably one of each race), and let them figure out their own ethical system learn only from themselves and grow up/reproduce with whatever identities they created for themselves.

Well my post may be full of bull crap, I'm not looking any of this up as you can probably tell, just what I've heard and experienced myself. Regardless:

To sum up, I think you should plan out and write down more information/detail of your ideas, and re-read your writing before you put it up. And clear it up so that the reader has an basis of comparison in that well explaining the theory of women no longer needing men, somehow tie in the main characters, why it concerns them, how they're involved. A proof-reader could probably help since they can ask questions where maybe in your head it's answered, but not in the writing.

Also, you misspelled gay, and instead spelled agy. And "Our enemies, the onces" should be "Our enemies, the ones". And while the enemies (I'm assuming men?) could be "racist" against women of color, the word you're looking for is probably "sexist".

Pretty cool story. I kinda got confused at the start, but after I read it was clear. Out of all the Mitsu I read this one is pretty original. That's great, keep writing, I want to know more and when Mio comes in. x)