I would say Ron will either be blindly, zeloutly antoganistic to Harry OR seduced by the promise of money, piwer and women and become the greatest strategist any Dark Lord has ever seen.

Ron may not think before he act, nor make any effort to better himself, but that is because he feels his brothers have already done it all and he can't top what they've already done.

But he IS smart. His chess skills indicates a strong affinity for forward thinking as well as the ability to memorize hundreds of moves and srraregies, and keep an eye on dousins or more potential outcomes.

Luna is a wild card. She is not "nice", she's fearful. She avoids comflict. But she is also headstrong and WILL fight for someone she believes in. She could EASILY be Harry's Bella... or fade into the background as a bully victim. (And many people like using her as a seer. She could be. Unlikely, but she could.)

Neville CAN be seduced...but not to Voldemort. If he isn't... he'll become even more broken, because nobody but Harry ever takes him serious.

Mind you, -Ron- WOULD betray his family, but the rest... Not so much.

Well, Ginny would, if she was seduced and in love. But ONLY then.

Please continue this amazing story and keep up the good work

You have a very good concept for a story. But I will give you the advice that has been given by autors to aspiering autors and underlined enough times to become clichè;

SHOW, don't tell!

Your story writes like a summary. A very, very rushed summary.

And that is without even mentioning the lack of brains it shows to spurt out a deep dark secret, like the most feared Dark Lord of all times being your father...to a potential enemy non the less. No matter how sure you feel that this stranger will join you.

I won't say anything on her quick rejection of her parents, even tho abused children also try to protect their parents to the point child protective service never believes a kid who says everything's fine. She could be a sociopath, by all means.

And I understand rushing and telling more than showing in the FIRST chapter... if you are telling the background story, which often is long and complicated.

But describing what is going on reads much, much better.

And take a deep breath and BREATH when you're typing. I'm sure you won't be yelled at for spending a little more time on polishing your story, when the result comes out so much better. (And doesn't make the reader feel stressed out by reading it.)

Good luck. I hope to watch your story change and grow as you grow as a writer.

Harry's Death Eaters should be Hermione Granger, Tonks, Luna, Daphne Greengrass,
Astoria Greengrass, Blaise Zabini and Millicent Bulstrode. Harry's horcrux should be
Rowena Ravenclaw's scrying gem and Salazar Slytherin's Personal Journal. Hermione's should
be Godric Gryffindor's sword. Hermione should kill her parents on Harry's orders.

Harry and Voldemort should be allies. As Tom Marvolo Riddle pointed out to Harry Potter in
"Harry Potter and The Chamber of Secrets", "We're so similar. Both orphans, both half-
bloods, and probably the only parselmouths in the school since Salazar himself". Ginny and
Ron are more likely to follow Dumbledore's commands than Harry's. Harry's own Death
Eaters should be Hermione, Luna Lovegood, Neville Longbottom and Tonks. Snape will spy
for Voldemort and Harry, but not Dumbledore. Harry's Inner Circle should include Daphne,
Astoria, Tracey Davis and Millicent Bulstrode.

Hahahahahahaha! This is supposed to be so bad it's hilarious, right?

Please update your story soon!

please update

I think that what is called 'blood play' and physical torture that would snap the mind would merit "M" ratings.

Harry should have 'smart' supporters as well as 'connected' ones. He should have a 'spymaster' (or at least one willing to grow into that spot); a 'healer (again, at least one willing..); a potioneer; and something that his father refused to see the value of-sex. These are team leaders and as such will be inner circle folks.
I think, at first father will be very proud of son going into the 'family business' but will see that he is being quietly phased out and not like it one bit.
Harry has seen the disadvantages of having flashy horcruxes and probably would consider Hermione's advice to him to find an unobtrusive item for his 'crux (i.e. a pair of trainers). If he had to have a flashy one, then I would ask one of Salazar Slytherin's portraits if he was willing to house Harry's. Hermione should use one of her parents as her crux point and then place her 'crux in a 5x7 muggle portrait of them. Harry could use the other parent for his 'crux point. I mean, waste not, want not.

fred and george please fred and george

MORE

maybe he could also have a nightmare of Hermione and Draco together. And what's about Draco anyway?
But great story so far!

can luna join? i could see her 'made up' creatures being something by H.P Lovecraft she uses as attack animals.

MUM not mom, you make him sound America, mKes it hard to believe it's set in a Scottish castle.