I really really hope you decide to continue this story! Please?!

love this cant wait to read more update soon please

please update soon :D

Hi, love the story line so far but i cant help but keep thinking that Tim's reaction was a little off, i mean he just found out he has a 13 year old son but that's just me anyway i think its great :D

would really love to read the end.

Are you... Alive? Cause it's been a while...

Update?

I really like the story so far! I hope you update soon. Much love, Crazy.

This is a really good 'Whodunit'.

Eagerly awaiting the next installment.

"Hope your right." Gibbs replied." - "Hope you're right." Gibbs replied."

"The slugs from the victim came from two separate hand guns." - "handguns" is one word.

"McGenius about feinted at the sight of her." - "fainted", which means "to pass out"; "feinted" means "to get out of the way of something" or "to fake a direction you are going to move in while playing some ball games".

"I havent decided yet." - "haven't".

"I may mention other characters every once in a while but the characters themselves will not make any appearance and when they are mentioned its mostly by Vance or Gibbs." - "it's mostly".

"Patience Gibb's, " Abby replied," - ""Patience Gibbs, " Abby replied,".

"When Tim arrived in the bullpen minutes later, Tony and Ziva were already sitting at their desks. "You're late, McTardy," Tony said with a grin. "Better not let the boss catch you." "I've been down in the lab for almost half an hour, Tony," Tim replied with sigh. He quickly sat at his desk and booted up his computer to begin sifting through the reports that had been sent over from the LA office. "That's early even for you, Probie. Sneaking in for a little quality time with our favorite lab bat?" "Got called in by Vance to help sift through paperwork," Gibbs cut in as he entered the bullpen, barely pausing to smack the senior field agent on the head. "Sorry Boss." - Hehehe, it is always fun to see (on the DVDs of the RL show) or read (in fics) DiNozzo getting headslapped.

"Records clean." - "Record's clean."

"Seems to be popular for enlisted men in the area." - "popular with"?

"Lets take a few of our own samples for Abby and then go talk to the father." - "Let's take".

"But lately its been hectic." - "But lately it's been hectic."

"There have been nights when I'm amazed me and Andi can remember some of the customer's drink orders." - "customers' drink orders".

"Matt called me around 5 said it was getting to busy for them to handle and asked if I'd mind coming in." - "and said it was getting too busy".

"I always park in the same place because that streets always been so safe." - "I always park in the same place because that street's always been so safe."

"I took of my coat to try and stop the bleeding and called the cops." - "took off my coat".

"no I'm afraid shes not my two favorite guys are." - "she's not".

"Bookstores not doing so well right now." - "Bookstore's not doing so well right now."?

"grabbing her phone from her pocket and dialing 911 before removing her heavy jacked and trying to slow the blood flow from the wound on the woman's chest,' - "heavy jacket"?

this is amazing i am hooked! you have all the characters perfect and i love william 3 this is great dear im so happy for you :))

Great chapter! Will Tim tell he his father?

I didn't think Tony was OOC at all. we've seen him step up and be there for tim when he's really needed it before (Probie) and i think this would definitely be one of the cases where he'd put the jokes aside and be serious. Anyways. Great chapter! i love the tim/tony bonding _ and i can't wait for more and to find out what tim is going to do.

Oh no I thought this was perfect! I liked that Tim just had to have a moment to collect his thoughts. Makes total sense. You wouldn't want to just jump into either ignoring it all or pretending that everythings fine. Its too much and too important. And Tony? Yeah he gives Tim greif but when things are serious he there for him. When Tim shot benedict for example it was Tony who went over to check on him and told him something personal about himself so this Tony does not seem OOC to me in this situation.