Just found your story and read it. It was awesome. Loved the details. I like how you remain true to the characters and provide possible explanations of events that could have happened. Any possibility of your continuing this story? I hope so. -JB

I want to see what you do when you get to Neal's thoughts when going after Fowler and afterwards.

LOVED it!

Yes, anger is safe. It also makes you feel strong, even if it's only a temporary fix. It gives you a reason to get up in the morning, until, hopefully, you find a better one. Keep writing. This is very good!

This was a very good look at what it is like to cope with the death of someone you love. "Neal was ashamed to be alive." That is so right. They never cover that in the 5 stages of grief. Mine was 20 years ago, and I still catch my- self sometimes feeling that it was wrong that I survuved and he didn't. Don't be so quick to "cure" Neal of his grief. On some level, it'll never go away. Great story!

Nice work. I wouldn't worry too much about rehashing similar events. It's always interesting to learn more about a character's thoughts during a particular scene. :)

I like how much dialogue you used from the episode, and how perfectly you inserted neals emotions. They are very plausible and fit perfectly with the show. One thing that I missed in this chapter was that, unlike in the previous two, you didn't give the emotions time to fester in the reader's, and Neals, minds. In the last two chapters, you balanced the dialogue with emotions and your own thoughts, while in this one it was mostly just dialogue and your descriptions within that. It almost felt as if I were reading the episode in story form instead of a (very well written!) fanfiction. You are a very talented writer and i am looking forward to more of this story! Again, sorry for any typos.

I like how much dialogue you used from the episode, and how perfectly you inserted neals emotions. They are very plausible and fit perfectly with the show. One thing that I missed in this chapter was that, unlike in the previous two, you didn't give the emotions time to fester in the reader's, and Neals, minds. In the last two chapters, you balanced the dialogue with emotions and your own thoughts, while in this one it was mostly just dialogue and your descriptions within that. It almost felt as if I were reading the episode in story form instead of a (very well written!) fanfiction. You are a very talented writer and i am looking forward to more of this story! Again, sorry for any typos.

This is way better than what I thought it was going to be. I was expecting a cliche, depressed, pitiful Neal, but the way you have gone from an extremely well written and accurate and overall tearjeeking depression into a cold, fierce rage is so perfect that I honestly don't know what to say. I love how you added the scenes from the episodes and how you weave them perfectly into his thoughts and actions, which are entirely plausible, amazes me. It has made me see things in the episodes that I didn't see before. You are a very talented writer!

Literally my only criticism is that when you are talking about how neal will never see Kate running down the isle, isle should be aisle.

Anyway, I'm going to read the next chapter now. Oh, and I love how the reader can feel what Neal is feeling. It's perfect. Also, sorry about any typos, I'm not used to typing on a touch screen!

I'm sorry Neal hasn't made better progress in his loss of Kate. He needs to come to terms with her death before he can fulfill the revenge he's seeking. You just have to acknowledge that you don't own the characters, don't you? Do you have to use the story line given them by their owners or can you do what you feel is right for them yourself. If you can, try thinking "what would I do" and see if Neal likes that idea. As always, your writing is top notch and all you have to do is let it flow the way you want it to.

THIS IS SO GREAT!

Nicely written. Hell-bent Neal is sort of terrifying. If you plan to write another "Withdrawal" chapter, you could include Neal's line from when he and Peter are speaking in the Burkes' home: "I didn't want to run anymore. / If you could have protected Kate, I know you would have" (my best guesses). :]

Very well done! Loved the warmth/coldness metaphor. Neal is cunning and quite dangerous when he wants (or needs) to be. Good work! If you plan to continue these one-shots, I'd love to see something about Neal's eventual return to the light. :)

I really like your story. I think they should have shown more of Neal's heartbreak so I'm glad you filled in some blanks of what he might have been thinking. Please write more.

Nice job. I wanted to let you know that I enjoy it but also that I'm going through a tough time right now, and I especially liked the section about how Anger is the coward's way out. I found that section really spoke to me about my life, which is what we read fiction for in the first place, to learn more about life. So I very much want you to continue. Thanks for writing this.