I like this you did a great job

Oh gosh! That was rather touching. And very realistic to what Dudley could've felt! Absolutely brilliant )

Huh. Have you considered writing something in which Harry finds the memoir?

I think i read somewhere with a list of what jk didn't include in the book that harry and dudley stayed in contact but he was the only dursley that harry stayed in contact... but i cant find where I read that, sorry.

i liked reading these 'memoirs' very much! you should maybe dive a little more into his thoughts about harry, so his character will get a bit more dimensional, but i like it pretty much!

Awww3 I love this!

Nice ending! Don't see anything to work on here lol.

Again, good luck!

~DSOD

The incident you mention with Dumbledore and the tea cup is a bit incomplete imo. Dumbledore had asked if Petunia had refreshment, and when it became obvious she was being rude, he had produced the tea himself. When the family refused their cups was when he started banging them on the heads with them.

With Dudley's development to this point, I would imagine him as being more curious than you showed him when Dumbledore arrived, but trying to hide this fact from his clearly angry and terrified parents (thus the reason he didn't accept his cup).

Other than that, looks good :)

~DSOD

Good job with the dementor bit, I really think that you are right on what would be his worst memories. It's not like he had any positive experiences with magic or anything. :D

Two quick things here. First, in chapter two I forgot to mention that it's the pudding incident that lead them to knowing Harry couldn't perform magic outside his school, which would lead a bit smoother into the following chapter.

The second is that Harry tells them that his godfather is Sirius Black, who they only know as an escaped convict, and that they were tip-toeing around him that summer for fear that he'd tell Sirius that he was being mistreated.

~DSOD

Looks good, but you might want to think about adding a bit to the last two paragraphs. With the pudding incident, maybe go a little into how pathetic Harry's excuses were. Or the fact that the pudding was floating or something else of the sort.

The last paragraph is fine as it is, though I suggest you either add to it or do as another paragraph something about how the summer got dull without his favorite punching bag around, or quiet without his father and Harry arguing.

~DSOD

Good luck with this paper! I found the entire thing very entertaining and you did a great job showing Dudley's growth. I did see a few things that could use some work though, and since you asked so kindly, I'll help you out, lol. :)

In this chapter the thing that I find glaringly absent is the incident at the zoo on Dudley's birthday when Harry accidentally releases the snake. Also some mentions of his "freakish nature" would add a bit to it as well, especially since that is the entire reason Vernon and Petunia hate/fear Harry so much.

For example, take these paragraphs:

iCertain incidents regarding Harry stand out in my memory. At my fifth birthday party, Harry was beating me at musical statues and Aunt Marge hit him with a walking stick so that he'd lose. Then, there was the Christmas that Harry received dog biscuits as a gift. As time progressed, these things started to seem normal. There was one time that stands out in my memory as quite strange. Mum, Harry, and I were shopping when a random stranger walked up to us in the street. He gaped and then bowed to Harry. Mum hurried us away, but the confusion was there. For my seventh birthday, my parents decided that I was a "big boy" and took me and thirty of my "closest friends" to go see The Brave Little Toaster at the local cinema. I specifically recall asking them what they'd do with Harry and they said that they'd "take care of him." I didn't see him for a day. It was from there-on-in that I irrevocably knew he was supposed to be under dirt in my list of things to despise.

Nothing changed in the following four years. I could still turn on the waterworks and get whatever I wanted, Harry was still dirt, and life went on. And then came July, 1991./i

In the first paragraph, you have plenty of examples of the Dursley's mistreatment of Harry, and Dudley learning how he was supposed to treat his cousin, but nothing about iwhy/i. From what I recall of the first book there would be several instances that Dudley had seen that would reinforce the idea of Harry being not normal. He had turned his teacher's hair blue once, and ended up on the school roof while trying to avoid Dudley and his friends. There is also the shrinking sweater and the bad haircut, possibly more to choose from.

Perhaps you could give and example of his accidental magic and the resulting punishment received for it. This would only take a few more paragraphs (I'd guess 2-5 total), and would give a more accurate and in-depth look at his childhood psyche. What was his reaction to finding his cousin on the school roof while "Harry Hunting"? Did the whole finding that Harry was a wizard have something, however small, click into place upon hearing that, like things just make sense? He would still be firmly entrenched in the 'knowing' he was superior to Harry. How did finding out that the magical world was real affect him?

Also on that note, Hagrid gave him the pig's tail because he was eating Harry's birthday cake, so even if you don't believe that he connected that with the tail, it would still be worth mentioning.

I'm going to go through the other chapters again and comment if I find anything, but I think it was pretty much good from here.

Are you going to post the final drafts, or replace the chapters here? I'd love to read the finished product!

~DSOD

I like it very much, because I always thought Rowling didn't payed enough attention to the Dursleys. That way they became very one dimensional characters. I'm glad you brought in this. You should maybe try to go into his feelings (sounds cheesy) about it a bit more, just making clear that he isn't just a big bad bully (okay yes he is) but how he slowly starts to understand and to.. well you know.. Untill the sixth book where he tells harry he doesn't hate him.. I never liked Dudley, I didn't hate him, but didn't like him either, but on the moment he said he didn't hate harry, i was like; Awwww! XD

Well, do what you want with it and awesome you are doing such a cool studying course in college :) good luck

I really like your idea. And a chapter per year is perfect.

One thing I've noticed is that the chapters start with complex language as though an adult is writing it, but by the end it has become more as though Dudley is still quite young when writing it.

Aside from that, I love it. Especially the way you gloss over all the harry specific moments and focus on things which happened to Dudley. It seems to be the way he would really remember things.

I think its perfectly alright. It will be really interesting to see every summer from Dudley's point of view, especially when the dementors come in. Keep up the great writing. :)