wow. very interesting story, but terrible grammar and many factual wrongs. i would love to be a beta and help fix the story up, because it is very interesting. i give you a week to reply

okay, so you say your Beta helped with your grammar ? they didnt help much with spellingim sorry, this would have been a cool fic but i just cant get over the mistakesi'll keep trying to push on cause i'd love to see where this goes , but yeah, spelling is a big thing too ... awesome work so far regarding plot !

It kept me on "the edge of my seat"

well...

Sure, the story was cleaned up; however, the writing quality stopped me after the first chapter. The point of view, subtracted from the story, the context for Hermione's drunk father seemed weak. The dialog and behavior have thin substance at best. Sorry, this fan fiction is not for me.

Okay first. I love the idea. It's a really REALLY great idea. I'm not the best writer around and I'm impulsive with my updates, so I may not be the best to suggest this but whatever. I also see that this is a whopping four years old so...yeah. The issues with this fanfiction are really easy to fix so that your next fanfiction is stellar. Draco hates Hermione, like...hate hates so it's unlikely that he would have allowed her anywhere near him when it comes down to the whole healing situation. Secondly Ginny's boyfriend napping isn't believable. It just happens and she doesn't seem triumphant or remorseful. The character's emotions drive home the believability. Third of all Snape is a tearful kind of guy, it's a little odd to make him sensitive to basic truths. While your use of there, their, and they're is cringe worthy the mix up happens and it isn't so big of a deal just be a little more careful and keep practicing. Trust me, you'll get better.

That washboard stomach is a bunch of bullshit. She couldn't have gotten that by simply taking off a charm. She would have had to actually work for it. Fucking idiot

I really wanted to read this. I really did. But I can't continue. Did you write this on your phone or something? The spelling and grammar are horrible. Your is used when you need you're (as in you are), you're (!) inconsistent with the use of there, they're and their...etc. Another issue is your lack of showing the reader what is happening through descriptions and just telling; you don't completely do all telling but more showing (describing) is needed. Scenes changed and I had no idea what was going on until halfway through the next scene.

You (and everyone else, including me) needs to type the chapters in a Word type document, spell and grammar check it, read it (and read it again), then paste the chapter into the submission box. Don't write directly into the submission box so you can check it first. The better your grammar, spelling, etc., the more a reader is likely to stay with you and your story/stories. It lets the reader know you care enough to check it over. It doesn't have to be perfect, but at least try.

I found this story to be little more than a treatise on how to abuse, manipulate, molest, and force girls into being mindless submissives. Very insulting to women in general and in specific.

Okay its Blaise Zabini

Thats a way to start a story

i wish she could just tell him the truth already! i love them so much anf i am so aggravated by the fact that she cant tell him nothing ugh love this story anyway though :) jk

ugh im so sad that drako doesnt know that hermione is mia and ugh im just so sad love this story though! :)

oh my god i probably should have reviewed before now but i was too wrapped up in the story oh my god i totally hate harry and ginny and i love draco severus and i hate mrs. weasley shes a total bitch ugh so many things runing through my head

I forgot to mention this in my review, but the message you send by having Hermione sit through Professor Dullop's molestation and sexual harassment of/on her body is not a very strong or empowering one to your female readers either. You are basically telling girls that if someone in a position of authority does this to you, you have no option but to sit through it and hope that it ends quickly. At no point did you stress the fact strongly enough that what he was doing to his female UNDERAGE student was beyond wrong. Yes she found out that he was a death eater later, but in the beginning when he first came onto that she didn't know. A Hermione who is true to the character JK Rowling wrote her to be would not have stood for that, I don't think. She would have at least hexed him.