Omg, I died at these parts:
Your human is perfectly capable of cleaning itself. Indeed it is likely to become irritable if you try to help.
"Ryuk! Get the fuck out of the shower!"

... And next up, mating
For some reason, your human will get very upset with you if you attempt to watch or film this process...
"OUT! NOW!"
"huh huh... wha- Light-Kun?"
"Huh? Oh nothing, Ryuuzaki..."

"BOOYAH! I AM GOD motherfuckers!"

1) I love the implied L/Light. 2) I love the analysis provided by Ryuk. (Your human will get very upset with you...) 3)This was hilarious, laughed the whole entire time. 4) Love it.

Hillarious

Hilarious! I've often wondered about some of the practicalities of having a shinigami follow you around. Good story.

Very funny! to be honest I was upset when it ended I love when Ryuk pervs on Light & L LMAO

Ahaha, I cracked up when Ryuk remarked that there wwas an apple on the gothic romance novel. I wonder which book was that... Fufufu!

"BOOYAH! I am GOD motherfuckers!"

...That made me laugh so hard my dad kicked me out of the office

(it was worth it!)...

This makes so much more sense now that I've read Paladin. Light's reactions are the best.

"Ryuk! Get the fuck out of the shower!"

That made me laugh hella hard!

The sounds of "humans in their natural habitat" too! LOLZ! XD

so cute and funny XD well done

Lol, that was funny