This was very good. You built it up extremely well and you didn't rush anything. Their chemistry and relationship is so strong it's so much to write about these two. Very good for it being your first!

Nice.

Excellent piece of writing. Very enjoyable. Emotional development of the characters was spot on, and great for the pace of the story. Age difference doesn't bother me, and I think at ten yrs girls can feel stuff like that, though maybe not as consciously. Only one thing I disagree on, that Oro would show this amount of genuine care for someone. Anko's emotions though seem very realistic to me, I think you explored them very well. Keep up the great work.

btw I loved the ideas on your naruto wiki profile page - you really do care about this pair - I promise not to steal your ideas :)

Your story is most romantic. Better than any story I have ever read. Let's just say I don't care if it involves sex. The story and the characters matter.

I love this so much! This is great **

Meh, I've read better (your second story) :D

Fail. Fail. Fail. Fail. Fail. Fail. Faill ank is a failll. She waited 6 MONTHS TO SAY 'i love you'? Damn! I wouldve said it earlier... Lol

yhur story is awesom and your story it's no fail_ lol

but I would like it of yhu edit the part were she and oro are tlkng and well yhu kno. Were she's nude? -I think maybe you should let oro make a move and not anko. Just my opinion

Lol

uchisur~~~_

This is one of my favourite stories EVER.

The feelings of both Orochimaru and Anko were displayed brilliantly. You're a brilliant writer. Write more OroxAnko- I implore you.

Loved it! The lemony parts were totally hot, though the story also made me teary-eyed. I could really relate to all the things Anko felt. And I think you did a lovely job of writing Orochimaru-sama. Great fic!

By the way, Pupil of the Serpent is one of my favourite fics on AFF! I'm still hoping to see it updated eventually, as well. And please post your other OroxAnko fic! We need more of this great pairing!

Hey! I got your message - interestingly enough, I had already starting reading the story by the time I got it. I usually try and stay up on what's going on in the OroAnko corner of the fandom. ;)

First of all, I like it. You express complicated emotions very well. Orochimaru and Anko are kept well in-character throughout. Your storyline is full and complete, and I like the cameos from the other sannin. They definitely help develop Oro's character.

However, one constructive criticism... Anko tells the guys who attack her that she's ten years old. To me, that seems a little bit young for falling in love the way she did with her sensei. And unless Oro is just "into that kind of thing," it seems a bit young for him to be making moves on her. :/

However, that's really just my issue with a number. The story itself was well-developed and written, and I enjoyed it. Thanks for taking the time to tell me about it. Best of luck in the future!

-SR

It was quite good for a beginner. The structure was cohesive, the characters were not behaving unpredicted, but the female lead was ten. A ten year old is not sexually active, and all the construction was alittle shaken because of it. But all in all, the fiction was awesome :)

The script was thoughtfully based, I liked that.

I hope there is a sequel to this.

Keep creating masterpiece :)

Wow. Not bad for a first timer. I wonder if Orochimaru kept her for this.

"Stay away from my apprentice, you idiot."

Translation: Stay away from her you damn lolicon! :O

Haha confess maybe she should write a long ass note like in school rumble. _

Oh God she's actually gonna do it? 'O'

"He's so…cute." I know its kinda freaky isn't it anko?

*spins in circles* KAWAAIIII!

"shirtless, wet-haired Orochimaru"

Hurrrr...herp derp!

"Let's have some fun."

GD lolicons!

Would've preferred this written with her older at least like 13. But good writing. :)

Hmm...i agree with your A/N!

Now, about the fic. What more can i say? Your writing is great, your style is great! I like how Oro's and Anko's feelings develop slowly, (well, as slow as it can get in a one-shot) and it does not seem very much unusual at all. You kept Oro kinda in-character, and same goes for young Anko. I especially liked the part where Oro pulled back, before saying something hurtful to Anko, to cover his own momentary mistake.

I would definately want a sequel. _

WHAT DID I TELL YOU! FIRST REVEIWER BABY!

Not bad, but the age thing weirded me out just a little, oh well I liked it. The lemon things are the most diffucult to write, especully if you're modest.

Your writing style and ideas were awesome!

I would really like to read a sequal to this. By the way, when do you plan on writing that fic you talked about at the end? I'd like to read it.

-RK