Poor tormented Edward. Poor fearful Bella. I hope one day you continue your story. Thanks for writing.

Ok, so, good story. You know what I just noticed? Well, Better Dig Two suits what Bella feels for Edward

She has developed such a physical resistance to eating. Very worrisome. Edward does very well though, patiently soothing her through as much as she’s willing to eat, but pushing no further.
‘"Please, Edward, no more." She was near tears again, her features pinched.’ Oh gosh, this had to break his heart.

Hmm, she may not want food but she sure craves physical affection from him. Another kind of nourishment that she’s done without for too long. Even before he left, he drew such rigid boundaries around what he would give her, she was truly starving. And even tonight, he doesn’t get how his pulling away from her hurts her. Interesting that he does believe he has hurt her with his vampire strength, but he has totally misinterpreted her reaction.

Your statement of what the new monster (lust) wants is just yummy. Coincidentally, it’s just what Bella wants too!

A good statement of canon Edward’s dilemma: ‘Despair washed over me in drowning waves as I realized how truly inadequate I was. How could I expect her to stay with me when there were so many things I couldn't do for her? So many desires I could never fulfill.’

Yet she would be so happy just to know these thoughts:
‘Sorry that I couldn't touch her again.
Sorry for wanting to.’
Instead, she feels defeated and unwanted. ‘An expression of raw pain once again flickered over her face, contorting her features. The most desolate look filled her soft brown eyes, and then suddenly they went flat. Empty, hollow, expressionless.
A thrill of pure, unadulterated fear skated down my spine.’ Ooooh.

And then leave it to Bella to apologize to him for being upset with him.

Wow, what a justaposition: in her sleep she repeats the same words she said the first time he came into her room, but then … ‘"Wait, Jake," she whispered.’ Oh shit.

Other particularly good lines:

‘Her breath was a cloud of the most heady perfume in my mouth.’

‘[The monster] was leashed, restrained beneath iron bands forged out of love for the human girl in my arms.’

‘How many times would we replay this scene before I earned back the trust I had crushed? The trust I had thrown away like so much garbage.’

[Liked your author’s note, btw - If a fic updates in the forest and no one reviews, does it make a sound?] OK, well, here’s my little echo!

I sure hope you find the time / energy / inspiration to continue this story, as I would loooove to see your imagining of what happens next. You've got a unique slant on this slice of time that is so critical in the development of their relationship.

Great statement of the condition they find themselves in:
‘I had brought her to this state.
My Bella, malnourished and sleep-deprived and gripped by the claws of some unknown terror that I could not wrest from her closed-off mind.’

Very telling:
'She flinched as though I'd struck her. Her hand tightened convulsively around mine, as if she was expecting me to try to pull away.’
That's exactly what she fears. I don’t know whether it’s more painful that he has to soothe her into breathing calmly, that she seems to want to run to her job to escape him, or that she’s anxious whether he’ll come over at night.

Well done tie back to canon:
‘…though she made no sound, I read the words she mouthed with perfect clarity.
"I always want you."
My breath left my body as her words recalled the specter of another conversation, here in this very spot, on a cloudy gray day in September when I'd ripped another tiny wound in her heart and mine, only a shadow of more brutal wounds to come.’
Shiver. But he seems to have some success at convincing her that he will come see her tonight, and finally she relaxes a little. That’s a relief.

‘Alice's visions of Bella's future had tormented me as we flew down the highway in the Volvo, intent on making it to Port Angeles and back before Bella's shift at Newton's ended.’ Ooh, ugh.

‘I felt as though another ounce of condemnation would be enough to kill me. The weight would crush me into dust.’ I have to remind myself that he created this whole situation – but still my heart breaks for him.

Hmm, ‘I was once again so profoundly grateful that she had found it in her heart to forgive me…’ But you’ve called into question whether she really has. I’m so glad to see this question expanded beyond the ridiculously simplistic resolution in canon … although I did think that, perhaps even subconsciously, the way SM wrote Bella’s choice of death-by-baby in BD was a real “gotcha” toward Edward, a way of taking back the control he had repeatedly stolen from her.

Oh, I’m glad to see you’ve incorporated the “vote” scenario. Although at this moment he’s just as rigidly unyielding on the question of her change as ever. ‘I would do anything to earn Bella's forgiveness…’ – except give her what’s most important to her.
Good advice from Alice: ‘…you're here. Don't let what happened in the past keep you from being what she needs in the present.’ I don’t think his mind is yet open enough to hear everything that Alice is saying.

Nice touch consulting with Carlisle at the health food store, to get his advice on what Bella’s body needs most. Awful thought: ‘I wondered if she'd eaten a single full meal since I'd left.’

Oh my gosh, he says “can we talk” and she immediately leaps to "Are you going to leave again?"

Other excellent lines:

‘I wanted to take her home and tuck her carefully into bed, wrap my arms around her and guard her as she slept, until the shadows faded from her face, her body, her eyes, her mind, healing the wounds I'd so callously inflicted.’

[when Bella comes up to her room anxiously looking for Edward] ‘When her eyes caught mine, I watched dawn break across her face.’

‘I began to realize just how deeply I had wounded her faith in me, this loving, trusting, selfless, reckless girl who'd given me her trust so easily…’

‘"I'm fine," she said immediately, and a window closed in her eyes.’

BTW, I love your A/N, ‘My heart belongs to Edward Cullen.’ Me, too.

I enjoyed your detailed glimpse of the Forks High cafeteria. So much happened there over their months together and apart.

This is so easy to picture: ‘She'd slept straight through lunch time yesterday, stirring only to murmur my name every so often, her forehead creasing as she spoke, then smoothing back out under my feather-light touch.’

Nice: ‘Being away from her made my chest ache as though I couldn't get enough air, even though I didn't actually need air in the first place.’

Enjoyed this little detail: ‘Charlie's slanderous mutterings about the incompetent referee.’ Actually, the whole sequence where Edward is sitting outside listening throughout her day is very vivid.

‘Soon her body would begin to recover from the trauma I'd put her through.’ We hope. Good description of Edward hearing Bella’s empty stomach at school: ‘Long, drawn-out, angry-sounding growls of neglect and outrage.’

Oooh, ominous: ‘…rolling her eyes at our long-standing private joke. Time to feed the human. But there was something wrong with her eyes. They were uneasy, and the smile didn't reach them.’ I love how closely he continues to observe her. How different this would be if he could hear her thoughts!

‘Her eyes widened with panic as she stared at the food before her.’ Frightening. And he tries so hard to keep it light, knowing that pushing her too hard won’t work at all. Oh oh, probably a tactical mistake to add “one of everything” to her tray.

Well-done moment of power struggle when she refuses to let him pay for her lunch, as he had always done before he left. So painful for him. So tense, too, knowing absolutely everyone is watching theit little drama. ‘I struggled to rein in the absurdly strong feelings of panic and helplessness that were threatening to drown me.’

‘"I've managed to take care of myself for the past six months, Edward," she murmured…
Her words, spoken so casually, hit me like a fist to the stomach, hard and brutal.’
Ouch. And then she’s horrified by what she said. Wow, do they ever have a lot to work through.

Excellent: “You don't have an unkind bone in your body, love … And even if you had meant to hurt me...well, it's nothing but the truth."

Another small, charming detail: ‘Angela's eyes were slightly glazed as she listened with a somewhat horrified fascination to Alice's endless prattling about up-and-coming designers…’

So touching: ‘The look in her eyes...oh, Bella. The soft brown irises contained an ocean of anxiety, pain, and panicked fear. Her eyes implored mine, but what they were begging for, I didn't know.’

At least he doesn’t seem to think he knows what’s best for her – progress. After his actions in September abruptly and unilaterally took away all her power, he needs to tread very carefully, let her come back from this in her own way and her own time.

Hello, my dear. I hardly ever bother reviewing stories that aren’t complete and haven’t been updated in a year … however I was intrigued with your premise, as my favorite sub-genre is vamp New Moon stories. Yours is such a great start that I hope to encourage you to pick it up again by reviewing what’s there. I was glad to see the note on your profile from last September, that you’re still interested in your stories. I hope your health and other circumstances allow the time and energy that writing requires.

I so enjoy your portrayal of Edward, so very loving. You really make me feel the pain in his heart.

Your description of Bella’s condition is chilling. Great use of this classic line: ‘All the king's horses and all the king's men...’
‘I was afraid that knowing the full, uncensored, unflinching extent of the damage I had caused would shatter me all over again.’ He SHOULD be afraid.
And from Charlie’s memories: ‘Bella slumped listlessly in her bed, eyes blank and face unresponsive as Charlie attempted to coax her to sip water from the glass in his hand.’ Shiver.

‘Even the agonizing pain of my transformation could not compare to the unspeakable pain of losing Bella.’ Wow.

‘I was determined that those bruised shadows beneath her eyes would be gone within the week.’ Nice.

I love this observation: ‘She was the most constant, steadfast creature I had ever known.’ That’s Bella at her best.

Interesting: ‘I wished that I could give [Charlie] the satisfaction of breaking my jaw.’

Sweet: ‘Perfect mornings from our summer together when we had existed in a state of pure grace and beauty…’

What a lovely idea, asking Edward to read to her. "I missed the sound of your voice so much. I could listen to it for hours."

Hmm, so she only took a single bite from her breakfast. Not good.

I am loving, loving, loving this! Please update soon! ;-)

Another excellent chapter. I love how you're making Edward suffer so much. Lol.

Haunting. You have a real talent. You managed to capture the personalities of most of the side characters in just a few lines of 'thought.' I'm loving this!

This is lovely! I really like how you've made Edward. I think I'm going to fall in love with him all over again!

When are you updating again?

you have to continue this! it's beautifully amazing

Please update!I love this!

Amazing :D

Wow...I'd forgotten all about their physical intimacy issues! Edward already feels guilty enough about the emotional damage he's done. The prospect of visible scars and bruises would surely be too much for him. Poor thing! Now I feel sorry for him :(

This chapter makes such an important point: every time Edward talks of leaving-whether so she can have a few human minutes or because he thinks she's angry at him-it's going to tear her apart all over again. He's so prone to overreaction that he's going to have to master the art of under-reacting so she can fully relax and find herself again.

"Wait, Jake"...Oooooooh, I knew that was coming! I hope inspiration hits you again really really soon but I cannot wait to read what happens next!