aw poor Renji at the end. He did nothing! But it was really good :)

HAHAHA thats to good ! xD

This was funny at the end. I can actually see Ichigo walking away with Renji on the ground. Makes me laugh!

Lol that was so cute and Funny at the same time nice job! I wasn't excepting that but it does kinda serve renji for kissing ichigo like that and then he just gets up and trys walking away like nothing happened this oneshot made my day by the ending! now that's the element of surprise their

CONTINUE PLEASEEEEE T_T

Haha love the ending!

Nice idea behind it. But it seemed a bit blunt. Lol, in other words, to me it was a bit short, and you can elaborate on it a bit, as in just add more action so to say to it. For example, maybe add the battle Renji and Ichigo were going through, and use the scene at the end as something last minute idea between them? Or have Renji "trip" over something and fall "accidentally" onto Ichigo. Just for examples.

Well, overall good job. Nothing was spelled wrong, and from what I notice, (I didn't go to far into detail, just casually read it) mostly everything remained in the same tense. Just me trying to be grammatically correct, lol.

Good luck on future posts!

It's a nice start. Keep going.

bad Renji! you cn't let Ichi like that!

nicely written!

i think you should finish the story! or just write more about it! i usually don't like yaoi... but this story seems kie it would be a great one! please keep writting!