The only thing I can't get past is the speech and the length of it. You don't space it out and that can get exhausting to read. Beyond that, a good concept.

Please Write More Chapters

It's a pity that you aren't going to continue this story as it is a very good one. I hope that you will one day regain your writing spirit.

It's a pity that you aren't continuing this as I was quite enjoying it. Hopefully you will reconsider at some point or if some one adopts Time Strike could you pm me with whoever adopts it? many thanks .14

Epic fucking fail. NOT A FLAME JUST BEING BRUTALLY FUCKING BLUNT. YOUR DIALOGUE SUCKS WORSE THEN ANY OTHER AND UNLESS YOU CAN FIX THAT THIS STORY WILL GET NO RECOGNITION!

ok, i have to say that this seems like it could be an awesome story. BUT, it's to wordy. you make your characters say paragraphs and it is hard to get through. it doesn't feel as if i'm hear people speak. i would love to continue but i'm having to replace to many things and reword them in my head for this to even make sense. so, the concept is cool. the reason naruto is wes is cool. but the minute they open their mouth it feels like word diarrhea. if you could fix that i would gladly read it all.

You should continue to write! You must love writing and creating stories! It's the reason why you decide write, right?

I'm sorry Susan, but this story is just dreadful.

I can't help but feel like it's a Kung Fu movie dubbed in the 70's. The sentences keep going on without much point, and it's BORING. I haven't been this bored since that travesty A.I.

Don't get me wrong, Charlotte, you have potential to be phenomenal, but you're wasting your talent on something as ridiculous as Naruto crossovers. If you really want to show your creative side, stop doing Naruto crossovers, OK Lindsay?

Details are only important if they're used to describe someone, or used for exposition. But both going on as long as they do distracts from the plot and the reader is jarred.

And for the love of baby-kicking Christ, Jennifer, cut your paragraphs. It burns out the eyes. No one in a single sitting is going to read a whole chapter with paragraphs that take a day and a half to read.

When my computer works again can I adopt time strike?

Damn, it was doing good.

this is a good chapter. i have an instresting idea for you. thrax returns in a new body and is back for revenge.

Great story, can't wait to see it when you update it

Can't wait for more

interesting story update soon

Why Wes/Jen/Sakura? Sakura doesn't hold Naruto/Wes as the first proity in her heart.