Hiii i just wanted to say taht I LOVE THIS STORY! Its one of the best I’ve ever read if not THE best, thank you so much for taking tile out of ur life to write this story. I haven’t finished the story so i hope you finished it miss but anyways THANK U AND KEEP DOIN WHAT UR DOIN!

Thank you for that wonderful MR story! My fav so far!

So you're 18. Wow. Btw, you're still amazing.

I knew it. As soon as it said that Gazzy and Angel were close to him I knew. At first I thought it was Dylan, but I realized that didn't really make sense. Jared had so many reasons to do this. His family was dead and Max wasn't going to fight anymore. So he pulled the trigger. RIP Jared Morgan.

okat OKAY OKAY I Have to type a review because this fic is fucking problematic that im
this fic is pretty old so i mean maybe you even have realized how some of the plot aspects and just characterizations are a bit? off
I read this fic a long time ago and I think i reviewed it too. i was just rereading some of my favorites and i just seriously couldn't get through anymore of it without saying something.
OKAY please dont take any of this the wrong way, i dont think your writing is terrible (and honestly compared to the unbelievable amount of shitty MR fics there are your grammar and dialogue are pretty decent)
first things first, i understand this is a fax fic, and that this is an AH au but PLEASE refrain from using fang's violence with max as the main focus of their relationship. in this chapter and many others you have characterized fang as violent shady dude, who has his moments but he kinda super secretive and privileged. and i mean many parts of that is up to you, but being violent in ANY context that isnt consentful is very problematic and maybe you think its sexy for someone to forcibly kiss you to avoid talking about something really important, or grab you when you have already told them not to. max is supposed to be this strong badass stubborn bitch, you know? and with that understand her defense should be always up, and she loves a good fight but? i mean you created max to hate sam/dylan who are both violet assholes. the only difference between fang and them is that fang doesnt have a large history with max and she thinks hes hot.
fang violent tendencies worry me because it just seems like your portrayal of their relationship is okay when in reality is abusive
and tbh i usually hate the way people characterize max, into making her this hardcore badass who melts into mushy shit when fang's around. i think you did a better job then most in trying show that stubborness she has even with fang. and that pushing she does to any of other person when it comes to taking care of herself.
i really like how you didnt really get into the details about Max's mother. you painted a really good picture one that does give the reader too much, but also something that keeps us intrigued.
the fighter thing with jared... is a bit overused i'll admit but why is jared so goddamned violet. i think i was reading one of the eariler chapters and i just couldnt believe that max let him just pressure her into doing things. and his relationship with dylan? one second hes pissed that dylan could ever touch her the next jared is pissing about his relationhip with his lil bro fucked him?
im just kinda confused by that.
ALSO WHY DO THE BOYS IN THIS STORY CONSTANTLY TRY TO HARASS MAX? like by doing that you kinda are over sexualizing max. and i think that you have to be really careful with the idea of max constantly being saved or even helped by fang. idk idk idk... just look into it
so tldr:
fix max and fang realtionship, based it on something else other than him coming to her rescue or her wanting to melt into his black crystal eyes
stop characterizing fang as a douchey prick-or keep him that way and add something to his personality that brings him to earth. like give him a hobbie some thing that makes him weird, or even nerdy.
and lastly understand that violence is not attractive
yOO

I just want to say you are an amazing author and this study has truly touched me I was balling for 30 minutes :) normally I don't read fanfiction because I don't like how it's written it tends to be choppy but I can honestly say your writing is amazing this story sucked me in from the beginning :) one last thing before I go I know your going to be an amazing author one day so just don't give up :) and pm me when u publish a book so I can read it :)

This story totally blew my mind... You write in such an interesting way that I couldn't believe it when i finished the story for less than a day... :D You seriously got a talent and I hope that you will keep developing it :) What I really like in ur story is that it's very realistic and compelling

WTF?

hi me again i just wanted to say if i could write a page by page explanation of why i thunk this is the best and why i think ur the best and how you can make it even better i would but i dont have time unfortunately... so many very subtle things in this that no other fanfiction writer could ever do that i wanna point out!

you should send this to a publisher. seriously. im not joking.
ok some constructive criticism tho... i would have loved some fang pov but that's ok... actually i just thought that there were too many plots. like dylan then angel then dylan again then jared then fang party thing then the school then jared again then her dad then dylan again then her mom... when the MAIN plot is the match between fang and max and their love life and how they live from two different worlds... i mean too much attention was pulled away from the most important conflict... i mean the fight lasted one chapter and they talked about it for another and that's it...
you are still a great writer i think you should try writing a book or something the emotion and detail and suspense you create is just raw talent you should really put to good use! really i mean it!

cool

Ya know, I know it's Fang

Was it jared?
This is one of the best stories i have ever read

I'm pretty sure Fang is the shadow. I mean, he's called THE SHADOW for a reason

cool