Amazing

I was reading this while listing to you found me

I started to cry saying george was to late I am still

Crying I cry I am making a story where my girl Haley

A slytherin saves Fred. I have to that in honor of Fred and George . Lost and insecure you found me. If you

Would I need an o.c for the story if you could p.m

Me one

love it!

This is heartbreaking, but beautiful :)

Title - Short, meaningful and perfect for it's purpose. (4)

Characterisation - Alicia was stunning... she felt so real and alive and how she dealt with George was... perfect :) And George himself was great - spot on there! (5)

Prompt - I loved the metaphor of the candle and how you managed to incorproate the lyrcis without actually using them - very well done! (5)

Plot - Oh, just lovely. I'll admit, I've read similiar plots before but that's normally with Angelina, rather than Alicia... (4.5)

Grammar - Really well written, but I did spot a handful of mistakes. (4)

Overall, that's 22.5 from me. Thanks for your entry!

Oh wow. :O This is absolutely amazingly heartbreaking :'(

Title - captures the theme of the story well and I like how it links to the first word of the fic :) But, in my opinion, it's not really original and doesn't catch my attention. 3.5/5

Characterisation - wonderful, wonderful, absolutely wonderful. You wrote George very very well - he's so vulnerable in here that it just made my heart ache and I felt such strong sympathy for him. The way you write him - just quietly suffering and grieving like that - was completely believable and very well done. Alicia, too, is very good - she has a very distinct and believable personality even though we don't know much about her from the books except that she was a Gryffindor - and even that could be seen here, as a girl who "loves challenges". This may just be me, but it seems a tad unrealistic for George to act so comfortably around Alicia when they haven't seen each other for almost a year. Still, I give you a 5/5 because everything else about them was just fantastic.

Plot - very well done - it was beautifully written, heartbreaking and captured my attention immediately and held it until the end. Although the idea itself isn't very different from other stories, you wrote it fabulously well and that added an original touch to it. 4.5/5

Grammar - Perfect. :) Just one small mistake: "it looks as though all of the life and excitement..." There should be a capital in "it". That's just an insignificat typo though - otherwise, perfect. 5/5

Use of prompt - Creative way to use the prompt and it added to the main concept of the fic. Once again, this just might be me, but the introduction of the candles being in the room seemed a little forced. Other than that, the use of the candle as a metaphor was very touching, emotional and well done. 4.5/5

Total: 22.5/25

Thank you for such an excellent read - it was so touching and well-written that it made my heart ache for George :(

I don't have much to say. Well, this is beautiful. :)

Beautiful, awesome story. I really loved it 0)

The title was perfect. It hooked the reader and related to the content of your story without giving too much away 5/5

Alicia was excellent - she had a distinctive personality - and I liked your characterisation of her very much. Also, I felt real sympathy for George. He was believable, although lacking a touch of his capacity for... the unexpected, so 4.5/5 for characterisation.

I found the plot to be engaging and satisfying. I was only left with one question: why was Alicia there in the first place? 4.5/5

Your use of the prompt was nice - very atmospheric. I also like that you didn't try to fuse the lyrics into your story (that almost never works) and yet there was still a palpable feel of the song in there. Very impressive, 5/5.

Finally, I have given you 4/5 for grammar because a few of the sentences were a little awkward. Still, it was well written.

Great job! 23/25 is your overall score from me. Thanks for an enjoyable read.

This was excellently written! You really captured how they both would have been affected. I also like that despite the sadness of what was happening, the end shone with a hint of optimism. Nice work! :)