I always wondered why people didn't write more Turk!Cloud stories. I was very happy to find this one!

love this story can't wait to see what happens next :)

A really nice and interesting story.
1sunfun

Please, for the love of Isis, take a beta reader or use Word's auto correct. The story has potential, but the grammar ruins it to shreds!

I was reading and all excited and intrigued and then I go to the next chapter and there is no chapter and I got all upset. I know this hasn't been updated since June and a check on your profile shows none of your stories have. Pleeeeaaaaase update this as I reeeeeaaaaally want to see what happens next.

Pros: This story includes the Before Crisis Turks, which adds brownie points for you. I've read stories in which the 'mighty organization' is made out of the 4 original game Turks and maybe toss in Cissnei. This story is at least updated within half a year, so it's still pretty recent. All the other ones that I follow are either complete, dead, or the author goes MIA. I do try to not ask the author whether or not he/she is dead if I can help it. Well, you show creativity for brining in Kuroshitsuji into this. Some authors are skittish about crossovers, especially across categories. And also, you're honest about things. You admit that you don't have a beta, so I don't assume that this has been beta-ed, which I would have (and mentally ram the beta against the wall a couple of times).

Cons: This story is fairly original, but I've seen this idea 4 times now, including this one. Granted, it's less overused as the time travel one, but since I really like both ideas, I don't mind repetition. What really makes me wince is the fact that you kept spelling 'definitely' wrong. It's not 'defiantly'. I keep seeing this mistake all over , and it has become one of the worst no-nos possible for me. I counted that error once in chapter 1, and a couple more times in chapter 3. It seems like a small error, but each one feels like a metaphorical punch in the gut. Also, Sephiroth never shouts. It's just out of character for him. He's deadly quiet, he's graceful, and he's deadly. But he's not brash or loud. Yes, it's hard to write a character like Seph and make him in character, but seriously. He never shouts. I'm not sure about the Cloud's suit thing. Wouldn't that make him more of a target since he wears a different suit? And Tseng and Veld (Verdot) let him wear that?

Verdict: B story. Plot is good, not many characters ooc, the length of the story is good. There are some spelling and grammar errors littered throughout, but I've picked out the most glaringly obvious one. So I'd say that it's a good story )

Mandy

PS- I'm not one of those people who nag at authors to update, so you won't be getting any annoying 'plz update!1111's from me. It's annoying, and it doesn't help anything. I'd know. Anyways, here above is my analysis of your story. I'm always willing to talk, so feel free to PM me and bounce ideas off me.

i loove it please update this soon.

Alexi Naori

update soon

For the love of God (or any other deity you worship) get a beta/proof-reader!

I want to read more of this, I really do, but the grammatical errors of chapter one were making my eyes bleed. Most people write in past-tense, there some stories that do work in present tense though. You need to pick one band stick with it./b (Don't worry, tenses sneak up on everyone at some point. The trick is to read anything you wrote back to yourself, aloud, and see if it still makes sense. Failing that, betas. More than one is beautiful. Actually just always have at least one beta anyway, they make your live and the lives of the readers easier.)

This looks like you do have a clear idea of what you want to have happen, so don't just scrap the story. I can't give much of a review from just one chapter, so I'll be looking over the rest of them too. (And really, grammar is the only problem here, and a re-writing and re-posting can fix it.)

Don't Give Up!

~ Lynn StarDragon, the Happy Dragon

PLEASE UPDATE SOON!

this is a cute story.

However, please have it beta-ed. There are problems with your use of present and plural tenses, i think you're just missing the 's' at the end of some words.

Also, a spell check would be helpful.

But it is a good story - all it needs is polishing and the shiny plot will shine through!

pencils? go Zack!

this is a funny story, yes I said funny _

can't wait to see where you take this _

~Mizu

Ohh, nice. But not very much CloudxZackxSeph interaction! Maybe after/during the mission? Hm, but good job. The outfit Clouds wearing, does it mean hes like, specially rufus's? or something? Or you just didn't wanna put him in the normal wear?

Don't really have a favorite part, seeing as nothing really BIG happened. Well, the Zack drooling part made me laugh a bit lol. So, can't wait for the next chapter! (Oh, and I like the length of the chapter, of course, you can NEVER have too long of chapters with me) :) Good luck with writing the rest out!

-rubs her hands together-

what an interesting little story you have there _

I can't wait to read more of it _

~Mizu

It's a story with a talented Cloud! Haha, it wouldn't be interesting unless Hojo figured it out someday...maybe in the far future, when Cloud has Sephiroth to buffer him. ;D I'll be waiting for chapter 3!