I was really enjoying reading this story until l came across your use of the term "Indian giving". I wouldn't like a Peter Burke who would use or think such an ugly term. If he used it in ignorance, I would hope El would smack him silly and educate him on its shameful history. You are a very good writer but to elevate your writing to a higher level I suggest you avoid using such expressions about a group of people without knowing more than the meaning of that expression so that you can use it in a more appropriate context.

This was great! I really love how you can see how Peter and Neals' relationship slowly develops has they gain trust and loyalty in each other. I also really liked reading about the closeness between Mozzie and Neal. Great work!

So sweet! Lots of hugs to Neal and thanks to you!

interesting :)

This is a well-crafted plot with whump, depth, character development, and a high level of rhetorical skill. Nice job, my dear.

love it

Oh I Would Definitely!

I Luv The Ending Ch. & Neal's Mom & Step-Dad

"You look like shit, kid." Lol Even I Laughed At That. XD Great Story.

Aww~ I Like Neal's Mother. & I Luv How U Did The Whole Lemonade & Cookies Thing. XD I Bet This Was Hard To Write. It Seems Really Difficult. Good Job!

Aww~ How Cute! I Just Luv The Conversations U Write Between Neal & Peter. Poor Neal, He's In so Much Pain But He is Just So Cute Too. Great Ch. XD

Oh~ Are We Going To Get To Meet Neal's Mother? Yay! I Bet She's Beautiful. Oh I Luv Ur Description Of Neal, It Was Perfect. He Really Is A Bag Full Of Contradictions, Huh? XD

Noooo~ Not A Cliffy! Y Do U Torment Me So~? ...

So An Unsolved Murder Case, Huh? Interesting~. I Luv How Long Ur Chapters Are. XD

It Would Be So Cool If They Told Us Neal's Past In Show... I Wonder What It Really Is.

Aww, I Wanna Meat A Loopy, Drugged Up Neal, He Sounds Super Cute~! & I Bet It Is Super Fun Writing Him Like That! XD Luv This Story So Far.

I really loved your story with a protective Peter, a worried Mozzie and a loopy Neal. Great back story, too, explaining a little bit about Neal's early years. I'd like to see more about Neal and his mom, even though canon will take it in a different direction. You have a good handle on the characters and a good ear for dialogue.

OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG! this was absolutely amazing. I love the way you have Peter and El taking care of Neal...and MOz...omg and finding out about his past...OMG THIS WAS AWESOME! YOu know you rock right? JUST AWESOME!

Awe, I love this one, too. Great fic. How Peter, Mozzie and El take care of Neal is just so sweet and awesome. And it's great to learn more about his past, too.