Man, it's been a while since I reread this.

Still holding on, by the way. Ain't givin up on this story now.

This whole illusory world reminds me heavily of a Supernatural episode with a Djinn that basically did the same thing to the main characters. Seeing HIM again is making me wonder where HIM actually is right now. He's easily the strongest being in existence in that universe, no question, and I do think that Him is definitely toying with them when he fights, though not QUITE for the same reason that this fake HIM gave. It proved my theory right too about interference making it easier for Blossom to escape.

I think the way that illusion was broken was lame though... is what I was gonna say. You can be acutely aware of your pain and surroundings being fake, but that doesn't change the fact that it's tricking your brain directly, so Blossom should still be affected. So while I think she shouldn't have been able to counter that illusion at all with just her willpower or whatever, that realisation was only the FIRST step before she could escape.

Using info that Bubbles is unaware of and the fact that you can't really hit a camera with an illusion was pretty smart. Her mechanical eye would obviously be able to see past everything. Although it isn't a perfect explanation as Blossom should still be feeling a phantom eye in its place, it was still really cool regardless.

Wait, they were floating in the EYE of the storm? That's... impossible. The centre of a tornado is actually pretty peaceful. It would make more sense to say they were floating AROUND the eye of the storm, or were looking INTO it, but I suppose it wouldn't have sounded as poetic.

Buttercup is going to be really messed up after this. I foresee everybody having a bad time about this whole fiasco... I'll reserve my comments for now, but if it's anything like I'm imagining, things are gonna be REALLY tough for her and the people around her...

This is really good overall. I'm enjoying it a lot. I suppose you don't have a lot of time for updates, and that's okay. So I'll just follow it anyway and wait patiently for the next update because I'm enjoying this so far.

Before I actually review: what's with the chapter naming convention? It looks like a Telltale game or something, with there being absurdly long chapters split into multiple parts. Now I see what you're trying to do. Each Chapter will likely end in some big revelation, conclusion or cliffhanger, probably as a new threat or issue arises and the old concluded, very much like a comic book. Now this is fine. In fact, a lot of books secretly do that even if it's not visible, having three major disasters throughout at the end of each "part". The format overall is fine.

What ANNOYS me though is the way parts and chapters are swapped around. Chapters are, at least in writing, generally the smaller condensed bits while parts are the massive chunks, much like how The Lord of The Rings is actually one book and each book is a different "part" each with chapters within.

You've done the same thing, but you're calling chapters "parts" and parts "chapters" and that's just REALLY bugging me! What's up with that? I suppose you're trying to copy a graphic novel or interactive game style but it's a little weird to see because that's not how you'd traditionally associate a chapter in a piece of text. There's no need to bind yourself to tradition with writing I suppose. You can do what you want with it. But it still makes it difficult to get used to seeing, or at least mildly irritating, and I don't see the point in doing that unless it has some metaphorical meaning or something behind it. Anyway, I've said my piece so there. Now, the review!

That intro sequence was trippy! I have to admit, I got pretty confused watching that whole thing. I was pretty lost and had to reread it to really get what was happening. It was a little too tricky to follow but it did the job well. Although the hint I got from this, and in general from other chapters is that Blossom's mental fortitude is MUCH greater than Buttercup despite the fact that she's almost literally in pieces, and that discredits Buttercup a little as Blossom has been shown just as vulnerable as her sisters in the series despite being the leader. That said, Blossom has been out of action for a while while Buttercup is dealing with ruined Townsville and Bubbles basically using genjutsu medaparts for YEARS so it's understandable that Buttercup is just through with dealing with all of it.

DON'T TRUST THE ILLUSIONS! Genjutsu medaparts indeed, I didn't know they were that powerful. Almost got Blossom too. One of Blossom's sentences looks mixed up to me though. It should be 'Why was she 'experiencing' things when she should be 'remembering' them', not the other way around. I could be wrong, but if I am that just means that sentence is unclear as to whether it's referring to her memories when things were good or her horrible experiences being turned into a cyborg or whatever she is.

I somehow feel like Bubbles trying harder to push them into the illusion might make it a bit more obvious to them that that's all it is: a dream. Genjutsu. Mist flames. A trick.
I got the strange image of Bubbles wearing Ness's clothes from Earthbound after I read "psychic energy". The image is stuck in my head now and I love it.

The joy and the laughter huh? That's a twisted turn of events. I was kinds imagining something more Supernatural than robotic though from her behaviour. Kinda reminds me of HIM bending Bubbles's will through Octi but times a thousand. Anyway...

The second sentence is clunky. I just really don't like that second sentence. It doesn't feel nice, period. The perspective shifts are also making things annoying to follow, especially as there's no indication as to WHO is speaking at any given moment.. It wouldn't be a problem if this was visual, but as it's written, it's kinda problematic. That said, you're a good enough writer that I can pretty quickly tell who is who just from the narrative voice alone. That, and it's also pretty cool how you sometimes write the same scene twice through the eyes of a different character, giving the same scene an entirely different feel. I'm not sure what affect this will have on the pacing of the story later, but for now it's pretty darn cool! That, and the last perspective was pretty awesome to see through!

You know, with the creepy surreal events that were happening all around them, this was fuel for some really triple imagery right here in this chapter! A shame it wasn't utilised or developed as much as I was expecting. In my opinion, if could have been a lot more shocking. Still, this may have been a better move, or at least an easier one, as once you over describe and start purple posing a horror or mystery scene, it starts losing its effect as it loses the air of mystery and intrigue that surrounds it.

So the pros: creepy scene, awesome reveal of Bubbles, I get the feeling that bad things have happened to the good Professor...

Cons: not quite hitting the high notes of surreal and creepy, confusing to follow, a lot more could have been done with it.

Geez Buttercup, delayed reaction there seeing ad your sister is half dead in front of you... Buttercup's reaction to the idea that her sister may have died AGAIN and it might be her fault was pretty powerful. I think she jumped to a few too many conclusions assuming the robots pain and her sisters were synced (I mean, that's terrible robot design! What, we're they designing Evas before this?) and assuming she was dead without checking, but she was pretty distraught I suppose, and sucks at dealing with stuff that's her fault.

Okay, seeing things through Blossom's point of view was pretty messed up. She's clearly gone through quite a lot if she can barely register whether or not she even existed!

Bubbles's small entry was the problem though. It's such a tiny segment it's almost not needed, and while building up intrigue and mystery is important (like the prophetic voice in Bubbles' head that cries out for murder), this just leaves me confused more than anything because none of the previous questions I had from the first chapter have been answered, or even brought up again. I would have saved her scene for the next chapter so you can expand it properly.

This feels like a pretty intense dystopia! The ruined decaying state of Townsville was captured perfectly, and screams of a dystopic nightmarish world that remains. I'm not sure why anybody even still lives their anymore but he way it's described the military has the whole city on lock down for some reason.

It looks like Buttercup isn't at full power either. The fact that Buttercup is only now starting to recover her powers and that Mark is terrified of her and Robin noted a personality shift makes me think that somehow this might even be their fault, or at least might be related.

The spelling and grammar is pretty much on point, but there is one point where it changes the perspective of the narrator from third to first person: 'Between the girls and the military, I'm not sure which is worse.' This should be 'he wasn't sure which was worse' instead as it's in third person, not first.

There were like three different perspectives to follow. While that was fine and worked here, in general I would try to avoid swapping POVs multiple times within the same chapter. It can get confusing and is not normally necessary. This was setting up the premise so it's fine though, but otherwise, stick to the character who's surrounded by the most action.

Anyway, this was pretty cool! I look forward to reading more!

This was really well done.

Its alive!
And also, good luck and hope you are well, BeeAre.

Quite an awesome page.

Nice story, keep up the great work! The story is AWSOME and the plots is very exciting and well planned out. Great vocab there and very well written, more plz!
You will one day be a great author, congrats! I love everything about it! ️

Well, it's about time :)

This was good.

Dude, it's been almost a year...are you ever going to update? I'm getting seriously impatient...

update faster please. I HATE cliffhangers :(

At the end of this chapter I could only guess the Gangreen Gang (?), Prin...cess(?) Probably... and ... mayyybe Sedusa... I think... But who could become a General and have a brother...?

Love this story though.