At least the last chapter ended on a positive note. This was a great read. Thanks for writing.

Fantastic. A few years have passed by now, but I hope you'll one day consider completing the story.

Ah, back to withholding vital information! That's more like the characters I've come to know - only this time, narrated with the appropriate underlying sarcasm.

The chapter opening gave me a laugh.

Once again, great chapter. I like the selection of Classic Rock chapter titles. You manage to take very effective pokes at Meyer's story, and at the same time provide a far more reasonable and promising courtship. I love E & B's religious/metaphysical discussion, and the parallels with Edward's youth.

Your vampires have often seemed very shallow and uninformed - by design, as if they had seen or read very little since their original time period. I thought at first that related to your very reasonable accusation that they had no interest in ordinary human concerns and at once revered and disdained humanity - a valid point - shunning the beings they insisted on living around and ignoring all but the strategically necessary trappings of their culture. And stuff about expensive cars, of course. Fair enough; but you also have them refer to experiences or sources of information that negate their disinterest - as when Edward recognizes the Dhammapada. Also, Carlisle is supposed to be an avid scholar; shouldn't he be the exception to the family's general cluelessness? It's a minor point; just observing.

I have to wonder what the evidently rather...ethnocentric Meyer would think of making Bella a Jubu; and for that matter, of turning Forks into a more racially diverse town. It's a vast improvement, and a bit of a jab at the original material.

I admire Bella's list of heroes. She's a far more interesting person than the original Bella, and a more reasonable partner for a century-old vampire; but to be fair, a lot less like a real 17-year-old girl. I think so, anyway; it's a long time since I've been one of those.
Her heroes list forced me to look up Joe Davis and his Poetica Vaginal. I thought you might be making that part up, and I'm delighted that you weren't.

Another terrific chapter. Plenty of soul-searching on the part of many, and nobody gets to hold the moral high ground for long. All the Cullens are finding Bella's presence a learning experience. Her conversations with Edward are more realistic, and more productive and genuinely intimate, than those in the original novel. I absolutely love Bella's nerdy investigations into vampire physiology; they're pretty well thought out, too, even if it's all completely impossible. Also, much obliged for the Kissinger line.

Very insightful. You make some excellent points about the moral concepts in Twilight, organized and expressed particularly well.
Interesting cliffhanger. Looks like Charlie isn't going to be allowed to remain clueless in your version.

Another great chapter. Good choice of title. I heartily endorse your decision to leave out the sunbathing scene; it was pointless filler. Edward is just as Moody and Blue as in the original, but he's expressing it in a way that makes him somewhat sympathetic rather than just morose and broody. I love the final line!

What I'm really enjoying about this story is the way you home in on the little absurdities or inconsistencies in Twilight and either take them to their logical conclusion, or conspicuously correct them, or just sneer at them in passing. It's great fun, and the Edward/Bella relationship actually makes more sense this way. Your version of Bella is also refreshing.

Great rewrite, and it catches a lot of the dubious bits in Meyer's work, in a fun way. Half your revisions and passing commentary match what would be my own hypothetical margin notes.

I like this so far. Seeing some of the flaws in the original story addressed so effectively is very satisfying. Bella's interaction with her hapless mother is hilarious, as is your commentary on Edward's know-it-all tendencies. Very promising; I'm definitely reading on.

Well done. You've made me legitimately enjoy Twilight again, and I didn't consider that to be at all possible.

I love this...series of vignettes? I love your style and sense of snark. Thanks.

They used her like a blood hound? Seriously? Why even bother writing this bullshit down?

This chapter may be both the most intelligent AND the funniest thing I've ever read in Twific!

I am loving this story so much! I always appreciate stories that "correct" all the missteps and ridicilous behaviors in Twilight, but yours is both intelligent and funny. Thank you for sharing your writing with us!