-flips a table- WHO WOULD NOT LIKE DIS FANFIC I WILL FIND DEM AND I WILL DISSECT THEEEEM...THIS FANFIC ID BEEEAUTIFUL hehe

I love where this story is going, and how you've bent the original plot just a bit to make your own plot fit in!

I also have a (possibly) good idea for the next chapter. If the boys bullying Near threw Optimus into the tree, would that mean that it's still up there at the current moment where the story is? If it is, you can maybe write about Near and Mello going outside after the rain stops, and getting the transformer out of the tree. You can choose who goes up to get it. (like, if Mello climbs up to get it for Mear, or if Near carefully tries again to go up wgile Mello stands below promising to break Near's fall if he does happen to fall...)

There's my little friendly input. Hope you can write more of this story soon; it's really nice so far!

~Meef

Awww! You still have a reader! (Even if I just discovered the story) This story is really cute :D The way I see it, you still have a couple options for the story. Mello can leave and you can continue the canon way; Mello could leave and Near goes to find him; Near could leave and Mello could choose whether to follow him or not, Mello could stay and Near/Mello happens, or Mello stays and they don't know how to deal. (sorry if it sounds like I'm trying to push ideas on you... those are just some possible storylines) I really like this story! please continue it!

I'm very disappointed... I want more chapters! :'( I think Mello should kick those boys ass! How dare they pick on Near! Anyway, great story so far :)

Matt comes back from the investigation and somehow, in the weirdness of reality, confesses his love for Mello. Thinking he has no chance with Near, Mello decides to go out with Matt for a change. And then Near gets jealous. And he wants to find the damn notebook and kill Matt, because the albino is just weird like that. Mello, because he thinks Near isn't weird at all, tells Near to go ahead and find the notebook to find his friggin' backpack, i mean boyfriend.

The end.

Though this story is good, and by good, I meant good flow, nice vocab choice, stuff like that.

But you still have to check spelling. And dialogue between different people are supposed to be spaced.

And cliffhanger? Personally,, it would be a bad choice to do that. Instead, write something about a knock on the door. And then probably an ellipsis. (...)

So far, because of how short the story is as of chapter two, readers would most likely run off. About 2000 words per chapter would be sufficient.

Plot will come later, I suppose?

~iSUL

Really good story, Can't wait for chapter five :D

HOLY SHIT!

CONTINUE CONTINUE CONTINUE CONTINUE CONTINUE CONTINUE CONTINUE!

THE FIRST CHAPTER WAS SO AWESOME AND SWEET AND STUFF AND NOW THERE'S NO MORE TO READ AND I JUST KNOW THAT NEXT MELLO'S GONNA LEAVE AND THEN NEAR'LL BE ALL ALONE AND THEN THAT'LL BE SAD AND THEY'RE IN LOVE WITH EACH OTHER AND NEITHER OF THEM WILL ADMIT IT AND NEAR IS GAY AND MELLO IS GAY AND THEY NEVER FINISHED THEIR CONVERSATION AND NOW THEY'LL NEVER FIGURE IT OUT 'CAUSE MATT CAME IN 'CASE ROGER WANTED TO SEE THE BOYS BECAUSE L IS DEAD BECAUSE LIGHT IS A MUTHER F*CKING BASTARD WHO DESERVES TO DIE A THOUSAND TIMES OVER AND I WAS SO HAPPY THAT HE DIED AT THE END OF THE SERIES CUZ HE'S A BASTARD JACKASS AND I WAS SO HAPPY THAT MATSUDA SHOT HIM AND I WAS LIKE "THAT'S WHAT YOU GET FOR KILLING L YOU SON OF A ****!" AND THEN I CAME ON HERE AND FOUND THIS FIC AND NOW I'M WRITING AN INCREDIBLY LONG-WINDED AND RUNON REVIEW BECAUSE I CAN'T BELIEVE IT GOT CUT OFF THERE BECAUSE NEAR WAS JUST ABOUT TO SAY IT!

!

Please please please please update update update update!

That's it? You left us hanging here. I hope it is Mello that Near likes...PLEASE UPDATE!

NO! you cant leave me hanging! who does he like?

im guessing mello... but still!

what if he liked matt! holy crap that would be awful! then mello would be so sad :'(

Yep. Because this is sooo what Mello really thinks _ Oh, Mello...You and your secrets...:P

its short so i dont know much aboout to think about it but it looks good keep oit up :)

you have a good start. Please continue.
kudos,
Jekyll

Awwe! That is so cute! Ugh do u no how hard it is to reveiw on an iPod touch? Very very very hard! Yeah... That was soo adorable though!