This fanfic is one of the stories of Haruhi Suzumiya that I liked more! Although you have made Haruhi and Koizumi are too twisted and Kyon too opaque to their own feelings. And in this chapter Kyon should have gone to see Nagato at her apartment to discuss if something bad will happen.

I am looking forward to the next chapter!

More please! really want to see what happens next!

I am loving how well you are writing this story. The characters, the speech, the storyline, all of it is amazing. I especially enjoyed the usage of Erebus in chapter 2. Please hurry with the updates, this story is amazing :)

You don't know what you have 'till it's gone and whatnot. Anyway, great chapter

Instead of sorting things out, Kyon decides to go to sleep...typical

Nice story so far! Update soon and keep up the great work! :)

Ok, I read this far, and I wanted to finish this before review, but I dont think I can do that. To start with, you were pretty much spot on when you said:

I hope that the Haruhi and Kyon didn't appear a bit too OOC

They are OCC, incredible OCC actually. I dont buy how Kyon went from not believing that he is in love to Haruhi and thinking the reasons to not love her, to suddenly realizing he is madly in love with her, forgetting any of the old reasons why he doesnt loves her, and starting to think that the whole mess with the closed space and whatever is his fault. I mean, Why would he believe that it's all his fault? He is not the one that decided to make him jealous and basically have sex in the chair in front of him, what did they expect? For him to declare his love for her in the spot while seeing her in Itsuki's lap? And what's up with Haruhi's reaction in this chapter? What the heck did she expect? I can go and on about how the whole situation just doesnt feels right, but I will finish saying: Great idea, the 1st chapter was good, but it went wrong after that and handled horribly

This is a really great story! After reading this, when Kyon gets mad in the clubroom that part reminded me of the song " ". But anyway, great story! Loved it!

this story was really good i thought that you captured the characters personalities very well

Well I have to say, this is one piece of work.

And that's why I'm disappointed.

This story was really good, the drama was just dazzling, it was perfect, it just got your heart going and made you think "holy crud that totally happened..oh shiz here it comes..oh man this is awesome". But unfortunately, the potential went to waste.

There were many scenes and situations that I just immediately continued in my head that would be the perfect drama scene, but each and every time, they were finished wish a very unlikely possibility that really had no tie to the actual characters or the very story that is based off of the authors imagination.

This story led to be a very blunt on it's own cause, it's potential was not utilized.

I will list the irregularities. First, Kyon's reactions to Haruhi's actions did not seem to be the appropriate ones for such emotions. It felt that Kyon's desire to leave the Brigade were perfectly appropriate, but were not followed through. I could have sworn that Kyon would begin to silently pull himself away from the Brigade, because what was obviously happening was definitely not something to accept, as easily as he did.

His jealousy was perfect, but time and time and time again he only accepted it and things went on with him only growing angry at the scenes and wishing it was him. Shouldn't he have been disappointed in Haruhi as a love-interest that she went for somebody else? How could he think of her the same, he should have been stunned and confused, not passive.

Haruhi's intentions became obvious, so that allowed readers to have some foreshadowing in the story. And scenes such as the cafe-meeting before the anti-brigade stepped in should have been packed with tension as haruhi's actions, leaving Kyon to become less and less wanting to be involved in the club.

Ah...forgive me, I'm starting to think I'm not conveying myself properly. I actually knew exactly what I wanted to say, but now I feel like a jackass because I'm somehow forgot after the long introduction. So let me just point out the big things. sorry for the last paragraphs.

When Kyon's first thought of leaving the brigade shortly, or I think sometime after the Haruhi/koizumi scene happened occured, Kyon should have begun to realize even further (while he was tormented with confusion and pain knowing that he couldn't look at haruhi the same after she engaged with such a act with somebody else) that maybe he wasn't even needed anymore in the Brigade. Kyon's entire purpose for being in the Brigade was because Haruhi had a slight view of him as being special, and the whole time during their adventures koizumi and the others used him as medium to control Haruhi. Wouldn't he feel pained and showed actions of secluding himself away from the Brigade during their daily sessions because he knew that now that Koizumi was doing the job, he really was just wasting time? (ofcourse, he was obviously dense by not realizing internal matters, but my explanation is taking advantage of that too)

Wouldn't a dramatic suspenseful scene of him just talking with haruhi or the group all of a sudden, with a blank face, that he wanted to leave?

Dismissing all of Haruhi's expected confused and dazed protests by hiding his jealousy and pain and just saying that he doesn't think his irrelevant presence should continue any longer? (to himself and koizumi it would truly seem like he had no purpose, but to haruhi obviously he was always just there as the kyon she thought was special, and being dense in not realizing that she hurt kyon with her careless and reckless choice of actions)

And just leave?

And last, the last scene were kyon was consoling haruhi was not projected well. She was saying very self-centered accusations of him ditching her and leaving her alone after being by her side all this time.

To me, that was THE brilliant time for Kyon to begin getting angry, clenching his fist or grinding his teeth all of a sudden, and immediately yell at her, stunning her, telling her that SHE was the one who ditched HIM, explaining and confirming that he obviously left, but SHE was the one who left him. Therefor exposing the wrong of Haruhi's actions and making this a very dramatic scene, a good one.

I'm really sorry, I wrote ALOT, but I hope you do read it and take it into consideration. I might have been vague, but over all I just think this story could have turned out better with a lot more insight and thought about what scenes you were creating.

sorry again

This story was one of epicness, I always wanted to punch koizumi in his smug prick face.

This story is pure genius, you've captured Kyon' sarcastic demeanor perfectly, and I just love the way the Haruhi and Kyon interact with one another ( although I do feel that their relationship hasn't really progressed).

Anyway, keep up the GREAT work! XD

I suggest making the sequel a separate story. Don't just attach it to the back of another one. Just say in the story description that it's the sequel.

I absolutely love this story! I can't wait until the next chapter is up!

awesome story. I love how Haruhi had planned about never paying. I can see her doing that. You really captured Haruhi's personality in this fic.