While I wasn't a huge fan of the dialogue style in this one-shot, I did really enjoy the interactions between them as well as their thoughts. Thanks for writing something set during my favorite section.

Very sweet! :3

Oh, man...!

:-)

Fun! Thanks for writing

WOW! I just love Hill siblings!

It was a good story, but i didn't entirely cover their personalities. Keep working on your writing skills though, you're sure to improve!

,

Raquelle

Interesting style, shifting POV so quickly. I like it. You capture the unfiltered, immediate thoughts and emotions.

Oh! I really like this story! thank you! maybe you can do a flashback of what happens in the night?...jajaja! hope you can! I stay with the hope of reading something that we only can dream about it. I'm waiting for your other story to continue.

I really liked this. It was playful and serious and showed very good emotion I thought. Especially Ren. I hope you do more Heel sibling stories. _

Reflective and precise. Good job!

I dont know what to say. Is a good work but is still missing something. I did not dislike it but neither like it thought. I guess it was too ooc this time.

Anyway. You are still a good writer. Thank you for your hard work. Hope you update your other story soon.(playing with fire)

Matta ne! *_*

erm you missing a few updates there spherrow ?

Hey Spherrow,

good, that you found your way back here ;-)

Your narrative style reminds me of a mix between the interior monologue and the "stream of consciousness". I, personally, like both of the narrative modes and you've implemented them pretty good.

But I also think you have to improve when it comes to the transition between Rens' and Kyokos'-Thinking. It just feels like it isn't round.

But all in all I think you've done a great job in trying a different mode of writing!

Keep it up!

ooooohhhh yeah they had aaaaalllll night to find that! just kidding, i'm not really a perv. this was a great one shot and i love all the sweet hugs. i hope you make another good one soon. good luck! :)