Hm, I can't figure out why this story was not evocative towards me. It was a wonderful idea. I liked it but...it just didn't call out to me. The connecting link of fiction is emotion, no? And that can be represented in a triangle. One side is the emotion of the author (the author's enthusiasm for the story), the second is the emotions of the characters (how they interpret and respond to the events of the story), and the third represents the emotion of the readers (how quickly they will identify with the characters.) If you find for yourself the missing link, then that might be the problem. Thinking this through a bit more, I believe that since there wasn't a real...setting established, it made it very difficult for the reader to follow. Is this England's house (you might have mentioned it is)? If so, why is America there all of the sudden? Did England know America was in the vicinity? If he did, I really think England is too proud to cry knowing the boy would hear.

Anywho, sorry if this seemed vague. I REALLY want to help you because I love the concept of the story. It never occurred to me that England would feel guilt about leaving America. And I want such a wonderful concept to have the most powerful story possible to back it up. : )

very nice; i loved the detail you put in it XD

wonderful job!

It's an interesting tidbit I hadn't encountered anywhere yet that England didn't ever want to leave American all alone, but was drawn away due to his obligations. Especially being a little specific about what he was probably off doing. (And, if you've ever seen his face when he's with little-America, there is no way he'd give that up without being rather forced.)

Although, I'm torn between believing America 'really does come in at the end' and America 'is a figment of his boozed mind', which makes it a reader-chosen ending. I choose happy-ending! :D

How did England botch America's childhood? I don't understand why exactly he's apologizing.

Overall, very cute ficlet!