Cool

That was great and cool. What happen next?

Why did you boldface everything in quotation marks?

I'm pretty sure seume wouldn't call Zuko "zuzu" after seeing the necklace. and why did he steal it anyways? lol he likes stealing necklaces doesn't he?

Tea is cute. but sometimes you said "he" instead of Rocky. Sometimes you have to say who's talking first before saying "he said, she said" keep up the progress! :D

awwwww, but how can Toph know her heartbeat when they're on Appa? Or is she just teasing even though her heartbeat is going fast XD

lol Toph knows all. I've noticed that Zuko say "Seume is really pretty" at the end of almost every chapter... it's kind of getting old...

awwwwww so cute! but why is there quotation marks when Zuko is thinking?

awww, Zuzu's gonna get a turtle duck :D and what will become of his cold?

The writing is actually nice and not over-the-top. It's difficult to read because of the big lack of sentence dividers, however. Punctuation would do you a lot of good. Commas and periods should be added to the dialog of what the characters are saying so that your reader knows where a sentence ends.

example: (you wrote)

Zuko hits his head on the saddle he then said to himself he said "* man how did I get talking going into town but even with mai at home I still fell like something is not right I love mai I really do but she is at home in the fire nation.*"

May read easier like this: (tried not to change your wording, just added a word that was left out)

Zuko hits his head on the saddle. Then he said to himself "Man how did I get talked into going to town? But even with Mai at home, I still feel like something is not right. I love Mai, I really do, but she is at home in the Fire Nation."

Punctuation is a big step in making a piece easier to read. Other than this, this is good.

lol all of these random boys keep showing up, I'm sure Zuko would get the slightest bit jealous, but he's sick...

Really nice story. :D. Please keep going. You have a nice style of writing.

Hmmm. The story sounds pretty good, but it gets sorta hard to understand. There are a lot of errors and stuff you need to change.

Especially the spoken words. They do not need to be in bold or italics, just put them into the quotation marks and BAM - you have spoken words!

There are also quite a few grammar mistakes and commas that need to be added - stuff like that.

You should probably get a beta, I would be happy to help edit this story, just give me a PM and I'll proofread it for you.

-CS9

awww, lol "Thank you it's so cute!" and Zuko just yawns and walks away... kinda suprised Seume didn't say anything about it. Why is Zuzu so tired?

Aw, Zuko you meanie poop head! I was suprised at you use of baka lol. Maybe you should edit the rest of your chapters because I seem to be the only one reviewing...