Interesting! I like the inclusion of seals from whirlpool that Orochimaru must have gotten from Karin and the genjutsu in battle. Both were rather rare in the show and Manga besides when Itachi was involved.

My only complaint would be Shikamaru. I can't imagine being able to write him myself, so it isn't a big complaint, but I'm almost positive he would already have known about the nine tailed fox by this point. He has the most tactical and logical mind in the village behind his father. From attending the academy with Naruto, spending time with him and choji, and observing the garbage all the adults in the village put him through he would definitely be able to put the pieces together. I think every other character still feels like themselves besides Shikamaru.

I also think you've blended Koiyaba into the story better than any OC I've ever seen. Limiting his fights and friends to other OCs really helps that.

It's the laugh-out-loud funny things that I have to comment on at times. And the doodles the chunin proctors were doing once the test was done is hilarious because I could see someone sketching that a lot. Won't say what in case someone reads the comments before the chapter. :)

Fucking awesome. ya could've NOT ENDED A FUCKING STORY ON A CLIFFHANGER THO. *sniff*. Monster.

I absolutely love it when authors make sasuke slowly become a good person. Thank you for the wonderfully addition to an already great and unique story

I have to admit, you worked up a glorious means of changing up the (probably rigged; RWBY taught me a lot) fighting choices in the Chuunin Exams.

It's nice see the rubber dude is actually an opponent in this one, usually he's just a stepping stone nobody cares about.

Wow. Just like... wow. This fic is amazing in how you really keep to canon without making the usual excuses that fanfiction usually does (i.e. Naruto is deadlast because he was sabotaged). And making Hiashi a mean father because he was trying to make Hinata angry is genius! Very in line with his character too and it makes him so much more of a complex character. Even right now I'm not sure how I feel about him. And now that he's Hokage he's making all these changes that the Third wouldn't... Wow. You really did an amazing job with this universe.

Plus your OC was done so well that he slipped into the story without overwhelming it.

And you gave the less-mentioned characters (Shino for instance) some time to shine too.

This was an incredible fanfiction. Thank you very much for writing it!

I have to admit, leaving a false trail to mark Naruto as a Yamanaka bastard is something I haven't seen done before, but it makes a lot of sense. Kudos for originality.

I wasn't sure how I felt about this story until I read this chapter. Hinata's classmates stepping up to defend their friend from Hiashi-fucking-Hyuuga was the single most badass thing I've seen.

No, correction; Hinata standing up to her father was. Truly awesome stuff, I love this story forever for that scene alone.

love the magic paper shenanigans

You are an amazing writer! I'm compleatly in love with this story! :D

"hinata aid hesitantly."

Hinata added hesitantly."

I'm enjoying your story. There you go; a review.

This led into the grand reveal of "the true purpose of the test" that Koyaiba really couldn't be bothered paying attention to. He and Hiro, who was sitting across the room, were playing tic-tac-toe on their magic paper. Somebody else was drawing a large number of penises.
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*Cackles*

This story really does need more reviews! A well written story that maintains a particularly good balance between the main original character and the cannon cast of the show. In a world where every body is badass it is nice to see that reflected in every character's abilities, not just our personal favourites. The flow of changes are also very believable with accompanying details of world building that I really enjoyed. Well done Gallyrat and thank you for sharing your imagination. : )