OMG this is REALLY GOOD
And My god, i dont think ive err read something with so much quality tht was a great length either. I hate getting really short stories that are really well written, because it seems like it wasnt worth reading, but this, this!

You my friend are a talented writer a if i met you i would hug you and congratulate you on your work!
Keep it up! Its awesome! Also i think you got each character well. Even though te Kiera bashing, but it seemed appropriate and i must admit Kiera never seemed to like daxter in te first game (or jak after finding out about him being dark in the second) but she only payed attention to him when she ears his voice after not seeing him for two years.

Oh baby, this was just pure adorableness~! lotsa hearts!

This was so beautiful! And sweet! And aaahhh! I love it! :D

Oh, gosh, that was absolutely gorgeous the whole way through! I don't even know where to begin praising you! You had the characters down perfectly! (I forced myself to stay up till 4:30 AM just so I could read it all in one sitting! I couldn't walk away!) I solemnly hope you write more JakxDax in the future! You are an asset to the fandom!

i loved it! it was perfect!

I know this is my own story, but I needed to share. When I was browsing through the stories, I was only looking at the summaries. I read the summary, and how sad is it that it took me a minute to realize that I had wrote the story. Even sadder, the same thing happened with my other Jak and Dax story.

Aside from using 'too' instead of 'to' and misspelling a couple of names, you did just fine C:

I loved this. I am especially pleased at how you captured Daxter's wit. I have ALWAYS loved his lines and actions in the games, so I was glad to see you were really good at keeping up with that.

Keep up the good work! C:

Ah, another J/D ficlet for me to feast my eyes upon. It's really nice to find some good writing for this fandom since it's so slow these days, even better to find something complete!

It's been said that you haven't done anything new, but I personally like how you did it. I mean, everyone writes Daxter's POV differently, and I think it can, at times be one of the hardest POVs to write and still stay true to the character.

But from where I'm standing, you wrote the part well, even if it was fairly standard. The dialogue, the characters are all pretty solid. And getting dialogue right is one of the things I'm wrestling with in my own J/D fiction.

I did love the lovey-dovey bits, how you gave some fluff and love, and gave a small hint (aside from Dax's usual pervertedness) to slightly more steamy action. Leaves more to the reader's imagination, which is always a sign of good writing. I actually liked the fact that this was pretty much the first T rated J/D yaoi I've read thus far. Cute and sweet.

And you had necesary angst over the whole love issue, but it didn't overrun the story, which run away with some people.

And you certainly do have your own flair when it came to handling the relationships between characters. Subtle details like Sig's role, Tess knowing about Daxter's dilema, Ashelin's regards of Daxter...things like that.

The only other thing would probably be the flashback. I don't really object to it, though I might spread it out more evenly through the story since around the second half, I think it disappeared...And then I think if I'm catching the theme right, connect the whole unluckiness of Dax in the flashback with him falling down a hole to the last line of him being the luckiest guy on Earth. It'd tie the two threads together really nicely.

TL;DR, I really liked it, loved your flair and the sweet romance. Keep writing and practicing and tying threads together, cause I think you've got some talent here.

I'm not sure if I've read Breaking the Cycle(I probably have, lol) but I'm gonna go check it out. Peace!)

I like this. *thumbs up*

Regarding those lovey-dovey scenes of yours, I'd say you pulled them off pretty well. It's a nice story, nice pacing, I like the originality and I loved how you portrayed the characters, especially Daxter. It could use a spellcheck, true, and of course, there's the whole 'Ostel' thing which distracted me though I got what it was supposed to be anyways. The intermissions where Daxter gets his body back is spread apart and, in places, it detracts from the piece because the scenes it cuts apart have a whole different feel from it and it isn't bridged together very well. There are some things with the format that are up to personal preference but, like I said, personal preference.

So, anyway, I like this story! Cheers.

Great story. You really bring out Daxter's personality and are consistant with it throughout, I love the storyline - though I would have enjoyed if you had drawn out the story after Jak finds out about Daxter's feeling. I think with the skill you've shown you could easily have added more.

There's a few spelling and grammatical errors but the story is good enough for this to be overlooked. I really got drawn into this and it has inspired me to do some fanart if you approve :) a very enjoyable read.

Good story. It had a bit of spelling/grammar mistakes, and you didn't really bring anything new to the pairing. In fact, it was very similar to other jxd fics, in almost every way. It's from Dax's pov, he's angsty, wants Jak, who is clueless as usual, and he has to keep it a secret, while trying to fight over Jak with Kiera.

You have to know that when you write stories so similar to others, you are going to be compared to them, and unfortunately, you didn't do better than those authors, or even as well as them. Don't get me wrong, the story is far from bad, I quite enjoyed it, but it just doesn't hold up to the rest.

You cover a lot of topics, and not only are they the same as the others covered, you only do all of them okay, rather than having one you excell in, and do great on the others. Things are worded awkwardly, and at times it can be a bit confusing. One part that really bothered me was when you kept changing Torn's name in the description.

But more than names are worded awkwardly, and it can be very weird at times, like I know what your trying to say, but you just don't really say it well.

This is a good story, but there is some things preventing it from being great.

6.8/10

Any questions or comments please pm me, my address is the same as I've written.

AH another one! I Love it! Love it love it love it! This has put me into a Jak and Daxter mood again! Playing the game as I type! Gotta say I love you, and I love love love your J/D fics! Want more Jak and Daxter from you!

Wow :D i'm not homophobic, i dont know if i would ever write story like this one. But i'll admit this one was great.

Not just because of the DaxterxJak, but allso because people dont realy write serious story's with daxter in them anymore.

Great story,minor spelling mistakes such as (Ostel Ottsel, i dont blame you with this one,its not even a realy word :3)

Keep up your stuff man. I could only hope that my things

would turn out this good.

Read Divine if you're interested :)