DANG I knew you would write battle intensely! Quick note: there's some places where you use commas where it maybe might be better to have semi-colons or dashes, just where unconnected ideas are in the same sentence. Some fav bits: in Gunther's POV, Jane's HEART-FLUTTERING SMILE OH GEEZ. I like too when Victor accuses Gunther of not being very chivalrous for a knight, it can be both funny and also a dark observation. There's some interesting religious associations with how Victor views right and wrong, and how Gunther views Jane — very much the savior/light-dark things going on. Also the image of red and spoiled ice; spoiled as a word is real powerful right there, I loved that. Finally the ending imagery with Dragon dancing, burning, on a precipice between her and death, looking at her, is SO powerful as well! Jane was always going to have an awful transition into war because morally people will die who weren't evil, just on the wrong side, but you wrote that moment for her beautifully. I think that's my favorite part so far of the story! Very dark and very real. I know it's been a long while, but I really hope you pick this up again! I'd love to see where it goes, and I sincerely hope Gunther didn't just get killed off there because I was really hoping for some emotional J/G. (Though if he did, I imagine Jane's grief will be equally as well-written!) I hope you are doing well and if you don't come back to this fandom/story, as so many people haven't, that you continue to write and have a lovely time of it!

Oh MAN it has been long! I just reread the whole story, and here's where I no longer remember so I'm guessing I dropped out of the fandom around chapter 8. But I am back and I hope I HOPE you will come back too! Recovery from the multiple year gaps! It can happen! Anyways, onto the story — I remember loving your imagery and it still sings, it's the richest part of every chapter. You use the term orbs occasionally which is one of my pet peeves, but honestly the description is very emotional and to the point, very poetic. Some fav bits: the image of the queen burning in Jane's mind (she is a tiny bit in love with her, I think, because who isn't), the imagery of Dragon's shadow above a burning kingdom, ooh that is dark and great. This story hasn't necessarily taken a huge turn from what I remember, but rereading it, it is not at all a J/G fic, and that's interesting because I remember it that way. I'll have to see where this goes, but so far it seems as if Victor and Jane are the main characters instead, and Victor of course is an extremely mixed up dude. I like that he smells wrong to Dragon, but it makes sense if he has a whole demon caged up in his head. Onwards!

im jsut gonna lie on the floor over here and never get up

what happened to Gunther? love your work, update soon!

Wuuuuuut oh my goodness that was so intense! I can't wait to see what happens next. Especially to Gunther :o

This was the first fanfic I read in a while, and I wasn't disappointed.

It's an engaging story, everyone's in character... Though, from a critical perspective, I do have some problems with the formatting (There are some minor lapses into purple prose, but they stay minor, thank goodness for that.) and inconsistency (namely Victor's age - He was stated to be 20, yet he was thought to have been killed in battle twelve years ago. I suggest editing the chapter he was introduced to boost his age up. Say, 28 or so - that's still relatively young, and it would be a bit more believable.) but I thoroughly enjoyed reading.

I eagerly await more.

awesome, one of my favorite Jane and the dragon stories. keep it up!

Ah, sorry it took me so long to read this one! Okay, this cleared a lot up. So Victor is a werewolf, or something like it, and wants revenge on his sister because she abandoned him. This basically explains everything confusing for the last few chapters, I mean, considering his strength, and how he's crazy and vicious all the time. Except still wondering why his eyes seem familiar, because now I'm starting to think Jane must somehow know either another werewolf or straight up Fenrir (Harry Potter or Norse mythology reference?) in his human form, assuming he has a human form. And the poor Queen :( Once again, I love your descriptions, and it's nice to have more of the backstory into Victor's childhood. I wonder if all of the children Fenrir goes after turn into werewolves, or was it just Victor? Anyways, I'm so glad you updated, and I'm excited to read what comes next! (With the way you write, I bet the way you describe battle or its aftermath will be amazing!)

This is absolutely lovely. I was, of course, upset that Jane did not get knighted and queen Gwendolyn is um...well dead/dying, but this is a great story. The plot is original and well thought out, the romance is merely alluded to which I really love, and you aren't afraid to take risks, it seems. The only note I really have is perhaps avoid describing their eyes as orbs for a while? Maybe it was just me but I noticed that bit was repeated a lot. I hope to hear more soon and best wishes!

i loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooove this story and the new character. continue please. me want more!

Aw man, this went completely differently than I expected (not that I had an expectation for the plot necessarily), but what a twist! The poor queen! And poor Jane, to be so wounded and embarrassed when she really hasn't done anything wrong :/ (I wonder why Victor's eyes looked familiar, though? I immediately thought of Magnus, just because he seems to be the only bad guy in the show.) I love the Gunther/Jane dynamics showing up also. I really enjoyed how long this chapter was, and your descriptions are beautiful - especially of their surroundings and facial expressions (love that last line). Anyways, wonderful job, and please update soon because I love where this is going!

For the love of Pete, that last review about the cliches was mine. FF wasn't signed in for some inexplicable reason, but if you want to shout at me or ask me questions for whatever reason then this is my user name. Feel free :)

Loving this whole Gunther/Jane tension thing. The whole 'you betrayed me and left me behind' thing came out a bit hokey, you might consider a rework with less of the "cold eyes/you betrayed me/but I love you/father blamed me for mothers death" kind of thing. Well, you can still include them just de-cliche them first perhaps. Sorry :S That sounds harsh. I really do like it.

omg the angst! i love it. great job.

AN UPDATE! First off, I love your writing style as always! And how you so skillfully managed to pop in bits of the characters' daily lives, as well as give an ominous tone to the story ... Honestly, I don't know how to describe your character, Lord Victor ... only that he is INHUMAN and IMPOSSIBLY CRUEL. You portrayed him perfectly for his type of character ... but he killed Queen Gwendolyn - his own sister! I can't believe ... Things are going to get much, MUCH worse, aren't they? But goodness must prevail! And Gwendolyn must be avenged!