This sucks. The question isn't "why," if the character "knew perfectly well why." I refuse to read further, because this hurt me a lot.

Thanks for nothing.

This is great! I'm so happy that there are a few fan fictions out there, and yours is really well-written and captures the characters' personality perfectly! Please write more!

YAY Take and Jeera

Hi there ! It's been a while !

"giggles" Poor Lok, since his misadventure at the GJC he afraid of old people. XD

For a bunch of old people, they were not very wise to send soilders who don't do magic. They won't last long. But fortunaley, our little team will save the day... I hope XD

HA that was funny with Lok

Aw that was cute with Jeera and Tak

Tak and Jeera forever

Yay ! A new chapter at the same time i start school ! How Nice !

So that Grudon is the Moon Juju's son ? I kinds guessed it so i'm not suprised . Ewww ! Nubu plants ! good luck Tak !

About Tak's age, i tought he would be around 13 too but... well do what you want it's your fanfiction after all !

Lok: "s'cuse me ! May i ask something to the author ?"

Me: ... -_-; "Sigh ! Fine but do it quick !"

Lok: "Why i didn't appear yet ! I want a explication NOW DX !"

Me: "Okay thanks for asking ! Now go away before i sent Vanessa !"

Ahem ! sorry for that random part.

Also thanks for giving me the name of that book ! i started reading it recently .

OH man that was awesome!

"gasp" UH OH ! what will happend ? don't leave me in supense too long please !

It was pretty good but the rhino story was a bit useless. Don't mean to be rude but i'm sure you could put it shorter.

All the bad guys are here minus Bartog. Is he slacking off OR he went somewhere else ? and if that's the case I have a bad feeling about where he went.

And... just to ask but where's our favorite goofer ?(you who i'm talking about hun ?)

ALright that was awesome

Thanks for putting Jeera and Windsor in here with Tak

Can't wait for more

Tak and Jeera forever

What an evilish group ! Tak and friends are gonna have a lot of trouble 0_0

I didn't see major mistakes that's good.I noticed you filled the holes in the previous chapters and made more pharagraphs . Keep up the good work !

Now, let's move to the good guys :D

Alright sounds very cool

I’m pretty sure Jeera named him Walter but I’ve heard in other fanfics it was Windsor which I like better animals should have names that aren’t like people although now that I think about in their culture it would be different than humans

Tak and Jeera forever

A dark alliance between Tlaloc and the dark juju... FINALLY someone make it real 8D ! Just need to add Bartog and Crug in that evil crew and i'm in Cloud Nine.

But i had to warn you. I have noticed there where parts where some words are missing, which make the story a bit difficult to read. Please, take you time to correct your mistakes before posting them ! That way,the story will be more enjoyable.

Beside all that, your story is pretty darn good and i be eager to read the next chapters . Please understand that i just want to help !

Alright this sounds very cool

Can't wait for more

What a interesting begenning ! are you doing the story in the three first game's storyline ?(the show is completly diffrent)

I can't wait to read what's next !

This seems like an intersting story so far, but I would suggest the use of more punctuations. Some sentances seems to be brokaen, or runs ons and it's kind of hard to understand.