really loved this was simple and great

Great story. very well written and thought through. loved it

Thnx to this story, I started play mass effect. Thank you.

Now that's a ending I love it awesome story why can't BeoWare do the same or well a great job there dude I really enjoy reading this keep up the great work
PAR KOTE BAL IJAAT BE MAND'ALOR !

Nice explaination of how Indoctrination works... I only wonder if Mass Effects creators thought up how it would work. I am guessing the Reapers can brainwash due to the sheer number of organics in each construct, asuming your explaination is accepted as truth. Good on you for taking a stab at it!

Nice story!
I must say though... these temples and 2nd Citadel remind me of KotOR 1, starmaps and Starforge.
Was that intentional? Bioware does place alot of similarities in their games so it would seem legit.

BEST ENDING EVER! WAY BETTER THAT ME3

awesome chapter

this is better than the actual game

My I just say…HOLY S**T MAN THAT WAS AWSOM :D

fucking awesome story my god

that being said adding an extra large space or line in between scenes would be helpful

Do I smell a Supreme Commander (video game series) reference?

Google Supreme Commander Wiki and read up on it and Forged Alliance (the stand-alone expansion). The United Earth Federation, Aeon Illuminate, and Cybran Nation eventaully allied to form the Coalition after the Seraphim invaded the galaxy through a quantum portal created by the firing of Black Sun, a planet-killer superweapon based on Earth and fired through the Quantum Gate Network.

Regarding the story: *clapping*

One minor bit of faulty logic (literally)

It is not wise to put the Galactic government in an Earthquake (literally EARTH-quake) -prone city that has the San Andreas Fault (told you it was faulty) running through it.

I'd think somewhere more like... New York or some other coastal city not near volcanoes or fault lines.

Other than that, thumbs up.

A typo was detected in an otherwise well-done story: posthumously, not post humourously (though it would be humourous if the Admirals actually said that lol)

Absolutly Brilliant. The best ive read