Hazaa, The act Is finally done. Brilliant Chapter by the way.

As promised, It's a COOKIE

(:.;',){Chocolate Chip}

UPDATE already. It's been months.

It's a good story with one of my gave pairings.

If you uptate I'll give you a cookie

And I thought I was the only one supporting this pairing! -swoon-

I wonder what that Gallade wants with Syl... Anyway, I hope you update!

You wouldn't capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn't capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you're using it as the pokemon's name, ie, Ash's pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it's a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you're thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor.

Write out numbers with letters.

[The trainer was named Syl, aged 17, short, having dark brown short semi-curly hair and wearing clothes that you would see a relaxed teen would wear. ]

That's a terrible description.

Dialogue is written as "Hello," he said or "Hello!" he said, never "Hello." He said or "Hello." he said or "Hello," He said or "Hello" he said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn't contain a speech verb, in which case it's written as "Hello." He grinned, never "Hello," he grinned or "Hello," He grinned. Note that something isn't a speech verb just because it's a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category.

Furthermore, if you're breaking up two complete sentences it's "Hi," he said. "This is it." not "Hi," he said, "this is it." or "Hi," he said "this is it." And if you're breaking up a sentence in the middle, it's "Hi. This," he said, "is it." If there's no speech verb in the break, you use a dash, like "Hi. This - " He looked around. "- is it."

It's really easy to overrely on dialogue to tell your story. Dialogue is easy to write - not only have you heard people talking all the time, but you also talk yourself and you can easily imagine talking about what's happening in your story. The problem is that this doesn't mean that dialogue is actually moving the story along or interesting to read. You need to strip out unnecessary conversations and spend more time on narration, describing the setting around them, the actions they're taking and what they're thinking.

[Physic-Blade ]

Presumably you mean "psychic".

[He retracted the sword, revealing a real sword, a Kalis (a wavy double-edge Filipino sword). ]

Wow, the pokemon listing off earlier had a pretty sueish vibe but we're now getting into random description of how special the swords are, which is at least an order of magnitude worse.

Anyway, pretty much degrades from here. Extended fight scenes aren't intrinsically interesting. If you don't bother establishing the characters beforehand, and the battle itself seems disconnected, it's just a bunch of shouting.