I wish she had lost it to Jesse.
I don't even mind that she lost it to Finn in canon.
I just hate that her first time was essentially pity sex.

so good! Please write more!

It would have been better if nearly all of the sentences weren't on separate lines. The story flows better when you have paragraphs. Occasionally, one sentence will suffice, moving from one paragraph to the next, but the whole thing like that just makes it exhausting to read.

Hope that doesn't sound as bitchy as it does in my head :)

How I wish that this had actually happened. Well, at least Rachel losing her virginity to Jesse b/c a first time like this would've only happened on HBO. ;)

That was incredibly sweet! I LOVED IT.

He's so sweet.

Alright so firstly I want to say that this story is very very well written. I really love the descriptions and the whole scene itself. The only thing that threw me off was the ending.

I feel that it shouldn't have ended there. It leaves alot of questions unanswered. It is a great ending for a chapter but not a short story (one-shot). I think the ending is just a little unfinished. Rachel in the story seems a little too unsure and although it seems she is ready and just hesitate through most of the plot, the ending kind of sends the reader in a different direction. If there was a little more, something to clear up the uncertainity in her eyes, something to connect the two characters emotionally at the end, or sheds light on why she turns away from him, then the characters would become more connected to the reader, and thus more intimate.

I'm not saying the ending is bad. Like I said before I think it's a brilliant cliff hanger and perfect for a chapter ending. I just think there should have been more to clear up the awkwardness...

Seriously its very well written and very intense. And ultimately I love it, which is probably why I wrote a long review. I usually do that with fics I really enjoyed. Good job and keep writing :)

oh that is sooooooooooo romantic! the sweetest! i wish jesse was my boyfriend!

though u made losing the v card really scary

im going to drink bottles of vodka until i pass out

and than loose my v card

muahahaha

evil pain less plan

I love St. Berry - in my dream world he wasn't a douche. LOL I think this was a beautifully written example of their first time. Awesome job!

Sweetie!

That was so touching!

Please say you are going to write another Chapter?

I have an account!

Plaese write to me if you need any help! I'm always here!

Great Job!

No that's an Insult

It was so good it was too good!

In a good way, of course!

Keep writing, and don't let anyone ruin your greatist talent!

I can't believe you!

OXFrankieLoverXO

PLEASE EXTEND THIS. Ohemglee after Funk I just can't handle the canon so I needs me some St Berry loving.

PS this was epic. x

please please PLEASE write another million chapters :)

i love this couple, and you have just made the couple so beautiful together.

i love this story- PLEASE write more!

xxxx

was so well written,i loved it!and its not OOC!great oneshot

really good. there really needs to be more jesse/rachel fics! it would make me very happy!
!C:

Guh. Is this just a one-shot, or will there be more chapters? I'd love to see you deal with what this does to their relationship.