I loved it!They are tied for my otp with NaruGaa

I love it! it's done well! :D Hehehe... i really like it! :D

wow
i really loved the way u write! it was beautiful!
i like tha fact that he had to go after narutop, finally!
really really good

and omg the 'Sasuke will let him dry hump him against a rough rock wall, but talking is out of the question? Typical' was my favorite! hahaha great job!

I did like your use of repetition in this fic (Sakura meeting Sasuke before he ran off, etc.) It showed how far Sasuke has come since then and how much he's changed (both in a positive and negative way).

I also thought the test was quite interesting. I liked that Naruto was being tested just as much as Sasuke. Both of them needed some time to figure out their priorities now that things had changed. Sasuke because he just returned to the village, and Naruto as well because he'd just spent the past 4 years of his life chasing after Sasuke, so what was he going to do now that he no longer had chasing Sasuke to focus on.

It might have been interesting to know what Naruto was doing and thinking the entire time he was gone. He didn't seem to think Sasuke would come for him, so was he resentful? Angry that his time was being wasted?

At the same time, though, I wish Sasuke had been tested in a slightly different way. The only concrete plan the elders of Konoha could come up with is to make Naruto leave the village and have Sasuke prove his attachment to Konoha by going to find him? Unfortunately, there's too many variables involved in that particular test. Naruto was only gone for a couple of months and was supposedly on vacation. I don't see Sasuke missing him as a good enough reason to sneak out of the village, not when he had just avoided the death penalty. On top of which, as far as he knew, Naruto was coming back; vacations don't last forever, so there was no reason for him not to continue waiting a week or two more until Naruto got back before confronting him. (Maybe if they'd told Sasuke Naruto was in danger it would have made more sense.) And of course, what would Konoha had done if something happened to Sasuke after he left? (He's hated by quite a few people by this point.) Or what if Sasuke never found Naruto? The whole test would have been pointless in that case.

My other little piece of criticism is that as I was reading this, I kept thinking it should have been a chapter fic. It works OK as a oneshot, but the plot and the set up were a lot more involved and less focused than what you'd normally see in a oneshot. A good oneshot is usually pretty compressed in its setting or time period. If you've read "Twentythirds," that fic takes place over along time span, but it always focuses on one day of the year out of that time span, so in that way it is actually quite focused, despite the long time period that the fic is told over. In this fic, lots of events happen and there are lots of setting changes, etc. so it's trickier to do this fic as a oneshot than a short chapter fic. For that reason, in some ways it worked as a oneshot, and in some ways it didn't and there were parts of the story that felt like they needed to be fleshed out a lot more.

But I critique because I care. On the whole, I thought it was a great fic. Thank you for sharing.

Aww )

i love the symbolism!good work
your fan,
chyny

I'm most impressed with you for creating such a wonderfully in-canon [and subtle] fanfic that speaks volumes as opposed to the more obvious, romantic ones out there! I felt like I was reading the actual manga or at least watching it live, it was that good! You portrayed the chemistry between Naruto and Sasuke in extremely poignant manner which left me breathless! Their relationship is so raw and powerful that one cannot help but be drawn to the pair, whether or not you're into yaoi [which I'm not but you almost convinced me otherwise lol]. I also loved how you portrayed Sakura as a strong female character, not literally as we all know, but quite figuratively; the fact that she's able to see Sasuke and say what she did without letting her feelings consume her shows just how much she's grown from her childish days. Unlike Naruto, who can't help himself from feeling too much regarding Sasuke because he is his most important person and vice versa. I enjoyed the chase between those two with Sasuke being the pursuer this time. If only he would realize the error of his ways in "real" time...

Nevertheless, your story is simamazing!

very very very good. i would say this is the right ending for naruto series. good job!

Love the ending! Well, the whole fic was awesome. I like how Naruto 'took a vacation' to the VotE. Yes, it madr the ending awesomer. Its to early in the morning to be reviewing but your story was just that worth it.

Love how they end up going to the Great Naruto Bridge too! Thanks for your hard work!

This was stunningly, achingly perfect. I...don't even know what to say.

They were both so in character it hurt. And the way you made them both so very human and real, somehow. Sasuke, especially…all his many flaws, and all his mistakes, but in the end, he can start to just live again and everything will (hopefully) be okay. And if this were the actual end of the manga, I would be so very, very happy XD

The emotion in the last scene…just wow. I loved this line “And maybe he isn't the best authority on the matter of right and wrong, but he knows how unequivocally right this feels.”

So yeah. I love this story so hard. Your writing amazingly awesome.

Thank you for sharing!

It was a good story. I like this ending to the series, and I've read a few. But, all fangirls would love an ending like this.

Absolutely stunning!

This ROCKED!

Great job! I think you portrayed them as best as is possible given how the manga is, and the repetition is...what's the word? Foreshadowing or something? Anyways, the repetition really added to the overall greatness of this.

I really like how indepth you are with the characters, this actually delving into their mind set, sticking to their appropraite attitudes, not just being mindless smut (not that I mind but still)...it's deep yo.

The last paragraph had me in tears. The idea of everything settling into a good resolve was just beautiful. I thought you dealt with the post-Danzo scene and the defeat of Madara incredibly well.