wow so i'm super behind on reviewing all my favs but! hopefully i make a good enough review to your most awesome story!

first off, merry christmas and happy new year! i hope the holidays are going swimmingly for you! thank you for the update and i hope that muse is as fresh as ever ;U

now, onto the actual review!

i'm loving the suspense and mystery you're keeping up here. you're cluing the audience in one moment at a time and (from my point of view) you're withholding whatever the characters learn so as to create tension which is something i absolutely love doing myself! if only to make the shock factor more spicy at the end hehe and i know that a lot of stories go for that shock factor/plot twist but not a lot pull it off really well bc they don't clue in the audience enough for it to be super shocking and here, you aren't as obvious in your intentions as well as the characters' motives especially. the point of view itself is intriguing because i normally don't like it when it jumps around but you're pulling it off really well! the changes in views isn't abrupt at all, it's flowing well and there's no sudden halt in my mind when i'm reading so awesome job there!

i also love how you put the words together when describing something! it's not a technique that a lot of people use which i'm a bit put out about because it's a really good technique to utilize! i'm probs not explaining it right but sorta like that whole ':/caution/wary/ill-at-ease/:' stuff for example! iT'S REALLY INTERESTING cuz i'm actually seeing a bit of my writing style in your writing style which is pretty awesome! (i'm not suggesting that we're copying off each other or anything but we seem to be having the same wavelengths ish! tho your writing is more in-depth than mine, i feel!) I have like the hugest ego when it comes to my own writing so you can imagine i'm really enjoying yours! (i rlly hope i'm not offending you somehow with this? oh man i do that sometimes accidentally i think u_u)

buT i'm digressing again. you seem to have a very well-though out, complicated plot here and i love seeing it woven together, piece by piece so flawlessly. and right now everything's getting super tense and i can guess that it's gonna be one of those low points for the characters omg lksjaf poor babies u_u lskajf

... i fEEL LIKE I WAS gonna say more but i can't remmeber now omg lkjsafkj have my derp lkjasf ? i hOPE THIS WAS A SATISFACTORY review and such u_u

ciao ciao and have a good day/night, you!

Excellent work, I still have OCs you could use if interested. Wouldn't the Conqueror attempt to awaken fellow Core Remnants in Mortal shape? Keep up the excellent work!

Excellent work, I have ideas and OCs for offer if you still require them. Keep up the excellent work!

Why do I get the feeling there is a Remnant now in David, eating away and absorbing him?

I'm so glad you've started posting stuff up again. So, so glad T_T

Welcome back. I was so happy that you updated. The whole thing about Remnants taking souls was brilliant. I enjoyed reading this. Kellendros is quite a piece of work. Keep up the great work and looking forward to the next update.

Yukiko Shiroryuu

Excellent work!

I will, believe me, hunt you and disembowel you if you don't continue this soon. Really, after the long wait, you'll just leave it there! I'm kinda glad and aggravated at you at the moment. Glad because you know when to cut a chapter, but aggravated because whrrrrryyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy?! I only experience this kind of 'what the hell happens next?!' in published works, finished works. Works that would offer you the continuation after a turn of a page. What I'm saying is, at this stage and if this is a book, you've finally churned out a 'page turner'. This chapter was sooo good I completely read it for the pure enjoyment of it. So, thank you. I haven't read anything without censoring or nitpicking at anything for quite a while.

Anyway, ehem. What to say, except, bravo! Fantastic chapter! I literally devoured the words and omg, Kelly! I want to slap you and kiss you at the same time! Classic elitist, better than thou character! Though I know she's in good hands I would just want to give a reminder of not overdoing her character. Your Kelly has the potential of being the Authentic Diva and the Ham Diva, and nobody wants a ham. They're fake and cliche and irritating for the wrong reasons.

...I kinda would like for Rush to uhm... IthinkheshoulddiewellIwanthi mtodie. (/ _ _)/ I mean, I'm already looking at the end here, but! Hummm, such a waste of good death if he didn't.

I'd comment more, but you've already shared some spoiler classified information/back story/etc. but yah, I could kiss you right now for this awesome chapter.

Cheers
-mimic

Excellent work, I have at least one OC you could use if interested, keep up the excellent work!

Usually I don't read long fics but this one's so awesome that I've made an exception. I liked the plot. It's a bit too angsty but is soooo fascinating that I couldn't stop reading until I reached the end of the chapter 13. I liked the way you depict things. I can almost see all those events flashing before my eyes as I read. Everything in the story felt so close due to detailed descriptions that it was almost as if I watched the movie. In your fic tense feelings alternate with fancy visual pictures. This creates a unique atmosphere of stunning beauty. Putting it simple I luv the story! :3 Keep up the good work!

YAY chapter 13!

...Actually I've already read it like a half a day after you posted it but I was too busy with my apprenticeship so I wasn't able to give a review after it. I'm gonna keep this really short (and disorganized... I think):

The chapter was action packed- *nod*nod*- it was a nice change of pace. Kelly seemed like Dave's evil aunt, and you finally used Caellach! Does that mean Rush have a Remnant name too? *sparkly eyes*

Anyway, cough, the only thing I wasn't quite fond of was Conqueror's dialogue. Not the words per se, but the caps... I think it's only a matter of personal preference, but he sounded like a preacher in my head. ...And what else, hmmm, I think I remember reading 'fascinated' twice in a paragraph, again it's a matter of preference in style I think. Oh, and also, on the '(previously)', I think you meant rabbit, not rabir? Or it really is rabir, just that I'm not familiar with the game? o3o?

As a final note, keep up the good work. Really you really have a good command in stringing up engaging pieces of works.

-mimic

PS wish I could give you a more detailed review, but I'm only typing this in my phone (/ _ _)/

Nice, nice. So this will be an epic, eh? So it's good vs. evil, no? Think you can finish it this year (bats eyelashes hopefully)? Anyway, anyway, for the review proper, as this is not the place for friendly catching ups that you will surely hear from me later (you've been gone for so long!), I hope you're up for critiques:

The chapter was too choppy, I'm afraid. It's not bad, it's just choppy, I guess what I'm trying to say is that its too much scene-y? Scenes aren't bad, but you're short on narration and so, as a result, it's choppy. Your prose already sings, but if you can balance scenes and narration, it'll be an orchestra.

Next, word choice. Oh don't worry, it's nothing serious, I'm just curious... it's the citation for Morpheus. Not a bad choice of word for dream-like state, but have you considered if the inhabitants of TLR believe in Greek gods? You're writing in multiple POV but not an omniscient one, so I was just wondering if you think Rush and co. has Greek mythology.

Last, well, I'll be just saying to not be afraid to use colons. Like so:

David just settled for a quiet: "It's about time you woke up. I know you like your lie ins, but this is a bit much even for you."

I think it's only a matter of taste, or whatever, but I think the colon is more appropriate than a comma in that instance.

I was just wondering, will you still follow the original timeline or will you go to a different route and make it, I don't know, longer? ...A lot is already happening before the final confrontation, and there will be more from the looks of it.

Ehem, anyway. Torgal? Really? Torgal? You're going to let Kelly play with him? I mean really? Seriously? I'm feeling impending doom, or something. I have a very, very, strong feeling that you wouldn't kill the cat so early in the story- hey, 40 chapters and its only the 12th!- and because he's such a scrumptious source of conflict, but... what's to say that you wouldn't pull an R.R. Martin on us and behead him! ...Though if it's for the good of the story and if gets you the desired impact, why the hell not, right?

On another note, now that Kelly's active, will we hear something from Marina now? Oh yeah, just a thought, Kelly's doing her remnant-eating-for-world-domination-thing (snorts)so wouldn't that get Marina and Irina's attention? Or, at the very least, the elder Marshall's? Or are they too preoccupied with Rush? ...Don't deign me an answer for that if you'll get to it in the next chapters.

-mimic

One of the most interesting stories I have read on fanfiction and one of my favorite. Hope to see more chapters soon

When's the soonest you'll get chapter 12 out? This story is bloody addictive. *A*

It was a lengthy read, true, but I do hope you'd remember long or short, as long as the chapter's executed properly it would satisfy your readers. Anyway, the chapter was an okay read. I didn't really feel any wave breaking tension, just a smidgen of it from David and Marina's interaction.

Hmm, the most memorable bit of info I got from this chapter was of Royotia's current predicament. I dunno, I find that little bit of info more interesting than Marina's scene, or the dream scene. I guess I more or less expected the latter scenes to come up, what with all the discussions we had for this story.

I won't go into detail with technicalities so I'll just mention two. Generally your description is very, very much outstanding but it would do you good to keep tabs on it, once in a while. Take care not to over indulge it, is what I mean.

Second your parentheticals... in narratives it's okay to use it- but only sparingly(!). In dialogues though... was Rush mumbling this bit '...(or partially bound in my case)'?

I hope your job hunting will turn out well, and that you'd be able to get a job that would satisfy your expectations :3

mimic

Yukiko: What an interesting chapter to read. I'm really glad that you're back. I love the way you described the place Rush and David were in and who you described Rush's Remnant(?) form. Very creative. I'm sad to hear that Marina does not see Rush as her son. But you plotted it so well, that I'm agreeing with David about her. I do hope I will be able to read more from you soon for I will always be waiting. (:

~Yukiko Shiroryuu~