You should've included Humor as one of the genres! Really great story pal!

I'm liking Luke and Kin's character XD It sounds like this was set up by Haku tho.. Hmm

Lol that last part HAHAAH

Not as much romance as I wanted but it was still a nice story.

Hi.

Okay, your story has a great idea (even though it's been used before), and has a lot of potential. However, there is not enough detail, and the ideas that are presented, tend to be too short. The relationship between Luke and Chihiro could have been established maybe a bit earlier, so the relationship could've built into a B-Plot idea. Back to detail, your original characters weren't established to the point where they could take their life form. Haku and Kin's relationship could've been better. Grammarically, the run-on sentences bugged me the most. Overall, this is a good story, but could use a few edits here and there. Continue to write! You have a lot of potential as a writer.

-A.C

that was so good but i feel sorry for luke and Ukame was actually really nice :D

Alright, I know that it's probobly a little too late for some CC, but here it goes;

One: slow down, kill the run ons.

Two: You need waaay more details. While the idea is good, I really can't tell exactly what's going on.

Three: Thoe OCs. In general, OCs are backround people. While there is nothing wrong with them playing a major role, it's very weird when you make them immedietly assume that part in the story. It would flow better if you waited a while for them to have a big role.

Four: In the movie, having humans in the Spirit World seemed like a very bad thing. So even if it would help for Chihiro's freind to come along, I highly doubt a spirit would invite her to come along so lightly.

Sorry this was so long. I really hope you read it though

Awww how cute loved it!

lovely

lovely chapter great story

Great work

Oh wow poor Kohaku

Loved it great work

I still think Kohaku would be best for her

This was a beautiful chapter great job keep up the good work