Wow nicely job!

Very sad and dark, but good.

This is deep, and dark. And I love it.

Did he... did he kill... Kid?

Wait- so Lord Death killed Kidd right?

This was a very sad, but beautiful piece. I always like seeing how Kid could descend into madness, and I like how you portrayed it and how Shinigami had to react to it. Very nice job!

I loved it. Completely.

So at the end... Shinigami-Sama killed Kid, right?

Because it says he was going to "restore order"...so it means he'll kill his son to do so, correct?

Continuing on topic... I really enjoyed the story. It's small details to the style in which it was written. You truly are an excellent writer.

Wow, just wow. I love this story so much! The ending is really good. I hope you write more.

like it, but im confused

You know, this fic's amazing but one thing bugged me at the end. Was Shinigami going to help Kid to destroy the world or Kill Kid to restore the balance?

Just great! Thank you soooo much! The manga is so funny, but after the last chapters I hoped for some angst, like in your fic (thought 's not gonna happen). It would fit perfectly, for Kiddo to die by his father hands. His obsession called for insanity, and thus, for such a sad ending. I'm glad someone with writing skills had my same impression. Really really good... can I hope in more than a one shot? ;-D

W-Woah...deep...very deep...wow...

It depends on how you look at it. You know, it's like the way this fic was constructed looked like a jungle of sentences but as you go through it it has a sense of order. It wasn't until I read this part of the story did I realize that construction:

Because he knows now:

THEIR ORDER IS INCONSTANT.

WITH UNRELIABLE RULES THAT FAIL.

INCONSISTANT WITH WHAT OCCURS IN NATURE.

ORDER IS RELATIVE.

NATURE DICTATES ORDER THROUGH CHAOS.

CHAOS IS TRUE ORDER.

CHAOS SAVES THE WORLD BY LEVELLING IT.

RETURNING IT TO ITS TRUEST FORM—ABYSS.

This part intrigued me, and not just they way that it has eight sentences, it relates to what I mentioned before.

I don't know if you intended this type of construction but very good.

And now to the story. As I said before, very deep. It doesn't really focus on how Kiddo-kun fell from grace but more on what happened. Very interesting.

Also, at the end: He'll shoulder this sin, for the contemptible sake of order...

I was thinking at first, 'oh no, Shinigami-sama's gonna go on a killing spree with Kiddo-kun' but then it sorta hit me, 'oh...oh no...he's..he's gonna kill Kiddo-kun!'

Yeah, again, it depends on your view point. For me, His sin is going to be murdering his own son with all the foreshadowing of not being able to handle the shame of something.

But, yes there always a but, make sure the story doesn't become to chaotic. Like here:

Rendering Kidd as something to be written off, insignificant when he was anything but…

Waiting anxiously by his mirror, with nothing to comfort him but the assurance that Kidd was strong…

The Death Scythes all murmured it back and forward to one another. As well as the Meisters…every student and citizen of Death City knew Kidd was a force to be reckoned with.

It's kinda broken up, unfinished in a way. It breeds more chaos than it needs too.

But it doesn't make the fic any less good.

All in all very well written. I expect more from you!

...I love you.

I really...really do.

This describes their somewhat twisted relationship so perfectly.

But there's something I can't quite get right. At the end, is Shinigami going to kill people with Kid, or is he going to kill his son himself? I first thought the former, but then I thought of the latter because of the "privately grieving" and "shouldering this sin" but it could be #1, as well. Or maybe I'm just thinking too much xDD;

Loved the story ! It was amazing, very sad and just the way I like it. The only thing that is worth remembering and keeping in Kid's world of order is his father - he lives because of him, he wants to be recognized by him in his own twisted way, and is a part of him - because they are both Death. Very good story Thank you very much !

Ouch. This is a very angsty fic, but really well-written. I liked it a lot, and the characters seemed in character for the situation. I like how in the end it got honestly sad instead of just a horror story.