enjoyed his you really put Tony through the ringer...

Great story. I like what you did with the character of ‘Senior’.

Wow! I always sort of hate to see a good story come to an end...but I think I'm a bit relieved this time, as there was some serious Tony-whumping going on! What I loved (though I was cringing with each new hurt he had to endure) was that it wasn't gratuitous; it was, in fact, a necessary part of your incredibly well-thought out plot and complex OCs. You really created the sense of Franco sliding deeper and deeper into his madness, which just exacerbated his already sadistic nature.

I really enjoyed all the twists and turns, and the way you had the team (plus Fornell; I'm always happy when he makes an appearance!) come up with detailed ways to thwart Franco...only to find they were still a step or two behind. That really moved the story along...and kept me on the edge of my seat! I also liked that you had Karen redeem herself; it would have been too much, I think, if *everyone* in Franco's orbit was evil. Your characterizations of the team, Fornell, Sacks and Senior were spot on.

Well done, from start to finish!

Loved this!

I enjoyed your story very much! Great plot and characters! :-)

This was great...no trouble following the plot, & enough Tony whump/hurt/comfort to last a while. [But now Tony will be gone after the next 2 episodes irl. Sad...] Thx.

Great story.

Really good story. Enjoyed reading it.

You weave a wicked tale. That was great. I loved it. Thank you. xo

Great story!

Loved this story!

This is nice... such a mystery as to the ultimate motive.

Most of my ideas are crossovers, but feel free to check out the ones on my author page :) I loved this one, and the ending was better paced than your earlier fics. I have trouble with endings myself, the rare times I've written something longer than a drabble :) I loved the interactions between Tony and Gibbs in this, and all the great supporting roles. You fleshed everybody out nicely, even Palmer. I especially loved Tony being kick-ass even when he's hanging on the wall, and then passing out as soon as it's safe :)

She's married to Franco

Hmmmm...I thought you said you don't torture poor Tony. Sounds like pretty diabolical torture to me to cut a guy half a dozen or more times across the chest and then try to cover it with a handkerchief. Wow!

First, let me say, I think you did a darn good job with this story. It was engaging and suspenseful. I wanted to keep reading to find out what would happen next - the mark of a good story for me.

This had a pretty good plot, I think. Revenge motivated by greed and insanity. The problems I had with it are of a different sort. It seems to me that you miss describing some of the details (I'll call them minor plot points) that help readers move along invisibly with your protagonists. Some authors write whole involved descriptions of every move, then have to pare several drafts down to the final edited version. Seems to me that you start very spare and leave it that way without checking to be certain that it all flows adequately. Had you not mentioned several times that you were writing chapters just before posting them, I would have known that anyway from the way the storyline jigged and jogged. Do you start with an outline before you write?

I like your dialog. You write Tony's voice well. You want Gibbs to be more gentle (almost motherly) and you write him that way, but his voice in your story is not his - it is yours. Ziva, Tim, and Palmer are well done. Ducky is perfect and I would expect nothing less from a Brit - and I don't mean that derogatorily.

You've done Abby very well. Senior was ok - a little too naive for my taste, but ok.

When Mr. VP reads your work, ask him to look for holes in the minor plot lines as well as the grammar, spelling and punctuation. And as I mentioned in my PM, please feel free to ask me any questions you want.

Thanks for writing and posting this. I'm hoping for another story from you.

All the best.

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