A www...it was really cute and well written.

This is a pretty adorable fic.

This was really cute. Very well written and the characterization was wonderful. I love sweet one shots like this. Good job!

Sincerely,

DragonGirl323

Lovely. You have a firm grip on these characters, even the more peripheral ones like Snow and Fang.

Great job building the atmosphere - it was easy to visualize this story, Lightning warily watching, gradually softening as she sees Hope's fear. You balanced her gentleness and inflexibility really well. And I'm not a Hope fan, but the writing's so strong I couldn't help liking him and feeling the same sympathy Lightning feels. I especially like how you connected it to her memories of her own parents.

Crit:

I feel like you overstated things at the end: "Light's there for me" and "Always". After everything we've just seen, the lines feel redundant.

end crit

Really great stuff. This is a scene that should've been in the game.

This was a really sweet story. I really do like the softer moments between Light and Hope. There's always the heavy romance ones between them, a bit overwhelming in my opinion, but then we find really nice ones like this. I was smiling the whole time I read the piece. It's very well written.

Keep up the great work!

Ooo, this is very well written! I rather like the little bit where Hope mistakenly sees Light as his mother leaving him. Poor little guy. Also, there is just something incredibly fitting about Fang being compared to a Lioness. Lazily protective indeed.

Oh my God. Your writing is pure magic, pure, unadultrated F'ING MAGIC OF AMAZINGNESS. XD

very cute.

love it 3

Aw... lovely story.
Very nice.
I can only imagine what Snow is going to say when he wakes up to see them. Light will probably try to kill him. XD Very fluffy )

So cute.

Aw! Too cute! My favorite sort of Hope/Lightning stories are ones JUST like these, where Light's a sap and Hope's still a kid.

Oh this story is so beautiful! Seriously, that's the word that came to my mind after finishing this.

You write the characters so well! Not a single spot of OOCness found!

Your writing was very descriptive, I could visualize everything so well. -

"There was the big bulk of Snow," - That part made me lawl! XD I'm glad that you added some humor to this story as well.

Oh I hope (no pun intended, lol) that you write some more FFXI fanfics, you're really good!

AW! this fic is so amazingly cute! the interaction between hope and lightning is so on track, and i think you got their characters right on track. this is just what i needed :) these two are my fave characters in the game :) great great story!

~blue jae

yeah poor hope

saw his mother walk away from him and not only that saw her die too probably

Hope and Lighting are like... my favorite pair. Love how Light is like a mother to him, and you just did an amazing job despicting that! Keep the amazing work up,

Cheers!