Oh man, you write excellent prose! Even though the plot meanders here and there, your writing's as smooth and clear as ever. I really enjoyed this paragraph - I think both Seto and Noa are summed up succinctly here:

"Perhaps their imaginary fraternity had gotten Noa hooked, and now he was attempting to somehow render the filiation legitimate through force of will. Seto snorted to himself at the thought. Noa was a spoiled brat who had always been given everything he could want, naturally now that he'd discovered something he didn't have, he was trying to take it for himself by force."

In general their characterizations are wonderful too; and you immediately grasped the dynamic between Seto and Noa. And aww, the Blue Eyes White Dragon was such a poignant touch. I'm hoping to see some overarching conflict between the brothers emerge, and also for another update soon!

Now reading your other works... )

I must say I was quite taken back to Noa's behavior as it seemed like he actually liked Seto. I did miss the little brother rvialry for Mokuba but this chapter was good too. It was very swwet. I guess them being civil and liking each other isn't bad, but I do miss the drama they had in the 1st chapter. (I don't know why people prefer drama over civil things like this) But I liked this chapter. It could have been slightly longer with more events occuring but I knew you had writer's block so I'm not complaining. And thank you for updating! - I really appreciate it!

Thank you for updating this story. I loved the twist at the end, where we discover that Noa has bought Seto the perfect present, the one thing that might break through Seto's emotional barriers and get him to see his step-brother in a new light. It should be very interesting to see where things go from here . . .

Are you going to update this? It's really REALLY good. I'm very anxious as to what happens next. Its hard and at the same time very interesting to see seto act this way, (especially towards mokuba) I also like how Noa is with Mokuba and his character as well. It's cute how Seto can be blunt but then gets ticked and screams He's not your brother in a jealous rage, and how Noa keeps irritating him by trying to be more close to Mokuba. I really wish you would update this! Please update it!

U Awesome! Love this! It was amazing! Loved the conversation between the brothers, and the ending was just CHILLING! *U* Rock on!

(Chapters 1 - 4)

I cannot express in words how much I like this piece, an ineffable quality side effect perhaps? The characters are so well researched I am so surprised this isn't within canon and although I normally yawn at filler arcs I have to say that Noah in a way grew on me.

The manipulative trait towards Mokuba between the two brothers is captivating, the little word games between the pair are just how the childhood rivalry would develop in my imagination. The dialogue and the actions they play out are thought out and planned nicely with believable emotions. The little hint of culture is tasteful and not completely off the beaten track too. I'm intrigued as to really what will happen to the 'loser' of this game that Gozaburo has set out for them and hanging on my seat as to what will happen next.

I cannot praise you enough for bringing out such an amazing piece of writing and updating it after so long, I do confess I did read it quite a while back and took a liking to it but was too shy to review ;) I /love/ this. /adds to favourites

Keep up the outstanding work.

~ Apple.

Aw, Mokuba is so adorable. _

Good story.

You gave me happiness by adding to a story I was sure was dead, so I'm more than willing to return the favor by reviewing. It was interesting to learn about this ceremony of another culture, and I loved the interaction between Noa and Mokuba. Noa obviously does love Mokuba, and vice versa; as expected, he's turning out much better than if he had never met the brothers until the virtual world. It's surprising to see even Noa and Seto starting to make peace at the end! Excellent job, and please keepd adding to this one!

Nice story. I always liked Noah and hoped that he will appear more in the series, but he didn’t. It’s a good idea to write about the relationship between the brothers if it existed that is. Keep up with the story, inspiration will come to you.

Ps: why did you say capsule monsters isn’t a real game?

I was glad to see a new chapter of this one so soon. Short, but interesting and heartwarming to see the bonding beginning between Noa and Mokuba.

Always pay attention to your creative muse! If you ended up writing this, there was a reason, and I would encourage you to continue with it. I've always liked Noa myself, and although he is going into this to compete with Seto, my guess is that interacting with Mokuba and coming to care about him will bring out Noa's humanity and compassion, just as it eventually did in the series. It would be quite interesting to see Noa becoming the good guy and the better brother while Seto descends into darkness.