Live your style ! Thanks for this so sweet fic!

jajjajajaj

that was just so THEM. loved it!

I really truly wanted to like this. It had good moments and a potentially great plot but it fell through between them at 15 to them as adults. That skip didn't make much sense and then suddenly they were madly in love when they saw each other again. If you made this a multi-chapter and elaborated more on the separation and had a better explanation for 6 years apart then this could end up a fantastic story.

I was eating cake without a plate or a fork or anything while reading this. Upon that realization I accepted that the type of person to read gay-lake-porn while eating cake like a slobbish barbarian would really enjoy this one shot. In confirmation ; I did in fact enjoy this fic very much.

I liked this fic in the beginning, but I'm not entirely sure where it went. Why was Naruto so pissed that Sasuke kissed him? After six years? Why did they have sex two seconds into meeting each other again-and why is Sasuke declaring Naruto the love of his life? Naruto was dating Gaara, right? Why does Sasuke just assume Naruto is single?
I know on your profile that you said you hated people who asked for sequels to your Oneshots, but this story would have been better drawn out into chapters. The characters didn't have time to develop at all- shown by how Naruto and Sasuke seemed to not have matured at all from when they were teenagers. I stopped reading near the point where Sasuke began immediately expressing how he loved Naruto after six years of not speaking. This story is frustrating because, after stomaching all the other crap you find on here, I finally come across a well-written story with a decent plot and it turns out to be this totally random smut fic. Perhaps that's what you were going for. Anyhow, this fic let my hopes soar only to crash to the ground and burn in writhing torment.

Awesome one shot and cute too... I really loved it! I love how you write, it's so well written and awesome!

é isso ai sasuke xDD

really cute fluff story

W...Woah...

This story is amazing! To me the flow was a tad bit choppy but overall really awesome plot.

There was too much story here for a oneshot, in my opinion. In the end, everything felt incredibly rushed and the characters' actions didn't make a whole lot of sense. The entire "argument" between them was much ado about nothing and I couldn't understand Naruto's anger over something stupid like a kiss (that he got into, in point of fact). The characters' behavior was so contradictory, and not in a way that showed their confusion, but more like the fic didn't seem to know HOW to characterize them. To summarize how many times the tides shift between them:

First they share a kiss that Naruto liked enough to crawl into Sasuke's lap for. Afterward they start exchanging e-mails daily (implying everything was fine between them). But then it turns out the friendly e-mails were all a facade because Naruto was actually angry enough (for a kiss he liked) to get a boyfriend and hide it from Sasuke. And he completely stops going to the cabin without explanation. Okay... must have been some traumatic kiss there Sasuke...

Then Sasuke decides so what, he doesn't care, and Naruto decides he doesn't care either, and they stop exchanging e-mails altogether. And Sasuke acts like Naruto is dead to him. In fact, Sasuke is so angry about the end of his friendship with Naruto that he doesn't want to hear anything about Naruto and doesn't want to meet Naruto's parents in case they mention him.

BUT THEN, Sasuke sees Naruto on the beach and is running down to the water to cup his face and throw himself at Naruto. A guy he couldn't stand to hear any news about just two minutes prior... And Naruto is still angry and snippy at Sasuke for that horrible, traumatic kiss (which he liked) and doesn't want anything to do with him. (Naruto probably should have mentioned his trauma over good first kisses at some point in those daily e-mails they exchanged before he went MIA at the cabin. It was the polite thing to do.)

At this point, Sasuke is so far past his anger at Naruto that he's insisting to Naruto, "We're meant to be together" and calling him "My Naruto." (Since Sasuke has refused to hear a word about Naruto for the past however many years, he might have done well at this point to ask if Gaara or someone else was in the picture before declaring them soulmates or whatever.)

Naruto tells Sasuke he was over thinking the relationship and doesn't share Sasuke deep devotion. BUT WAIT! He goes through with the sex anyway and by the end of it, he's totally reversed his stance and is now telling Sasuke that he's "Yours! [...] Always yours!"

(He was always Sasuke's? Was that when he was fucking Gaara and lying about it to Sasuke, or when he stopped showing up at the cabin, or when he let the correspondence with Sasuke drop, or when he told Sasuke to leave him alone after they reunited? I seem to have missed the part where Naruto also developed feelings for Sasuke. Or where Sasuke chose to forgive Naruto for breaking his heart. But I guess the distraction of a piece of ass will do that for you.)

I know, I know. It's a oneshot and only fic. We're not meant to think so deeply about it. But a little consistency and thoughtfulness in the characterization would help. Characters can't be changing their minds at the drop of a hat. It's too abrupt to make them be loving one another, then suddenly despising one another, and then go back to loving one another without any warning.

It all started at the beach

Helloo, it's me, your new stalker '

I really loved this story, so cute and so heartbreaking! Your a really really great writer, and this is my favorite so far!

"Can't fight the moonlight, no, you can't fight it, it's gonna get to your heart!" Uhm.. *Twitch* So what? I have a fantasy that I become a vamous (French accent) singer! What the hell? No! Dammit, fantastic story got me saying stuff! Welll.. I just wanned to say that this was a really good fiction and Naruto was so cute and Sasuke-teme too! You really write them great together! :) Keep it up - story is going to ma favorites! U too! ;) xxx