Nice idea. I would love to see you continue it.

This. Is. Epic. You. Are. Epic.

More please.

YAY FR SZAYEL! Hes so sexy, I really want my glasses to be the same as his XD Great idea, you should wrote more

Oh my, so im not the only one who noticed the similarity of Szayel and Yachiru. i loved this! i would love for you to write me on the idea, is he gonna keep his promise? please write more!

Hmm, so are you gonna write more? Is Szayel gona do something with this hair? What is he up to? I'm not sure I like the idea of them being brother and sister, but hey ho, whatever. It was a good story and I love all Yachiru's incessant banter, you depicted her character very well.

An interesting one shot. Sequel worth, even. Got any plans on making another one?

This story would be so much fun to see what you could to if you come back to visit it at some later date. Just how rocked would Soul Society, and especially the 11th Division be if something like that came out as a revelation. I do not think that has been touched upon much in the series, especially amongst bloodties. I think the closest was Kaien Shiba's situation or the things around Hitsugaya during the Second Movie.

This just has so much potential, and I am glad that you showed us this potential teaser. If you can, please do take the opportunity to play with this more.

Dear lord, so I'm not the only one who believes that the Szayel and Yachiru are brother and sister?

I loved the story, really. It was very well written, in character, good concept as well.

Good work!

So many things to say, all the comments are jumbled up in my head and now I'm going to have to get them out. Great.

Hmm, okay, to begin with, I liked it. In fact, I liked it a lot. I cannot neglect to mention that you made Szayel quite spectacularly in-character, even going so far as to do the narrative in a very Szayel-esque style. (Really, that's the only way to properly write someone like Szayel, or Mayuri for that matter. :D )

Yes, the story was well-paced, dialogue was great, you've really thought about the plot, pulled it off and I applaude you for that.

The only thing that leaves me a tad unsatisfied is the ending. This is meant to be a one-shot, yes? So you ended it with a big fat cliffhanger, which is cool. But..I dunno, I'm really sorry because I don't mean to be rude, but the whole Szayel-being-related-to-Yachiru thing kinda killed it for me. I'm sorry, this is through no fault of your own. It's just that this plot thread is so incredibly mysterious and potentially deep and thrilling, it seems a shame to end it just like that. You're a VERY good writer, and if you really tried you could expand this story, create a history, invent your own plot twists and turn the whole of Soul Society upside down. You have the capability and maybe you'd like to go for it :D No pressure, of course.

So, that's all I have to say. I see you've written only one story, keep writing as you have here and you can't go wrong! (Y)

*p.s. I'm sorry if this seems harsh in any way. I truly adore this piece, I do. Maybe it's just because I have a phobia of good plot threads like yours being abused? OTL Not that you abused it. You did a great job. Okay. I'll shut up now. Bye.

p.p.s: That was a bloody long review OTL Sorry.

Oh! This was great, and I wish you'd continue this. Your writing is very in character and the way you describe Yachiru's innocence is endearing. Great job.

I like it, in fact I'm curious as to what happens next. Especally with the Sister thing.

Haha I love the story! Please add more chapters to it! :D

Wow.

Your writing is absolutely splendid; it was descriptive, smooth, thoughtful, and from what I could see, flawless. The characterization of both Szayel and Yachiru was spot on in my opinion. I especially liked how you executed their whole interaction considering a few drastically clashing elements in their personalities.

By the way, do you follow oneoftwo on DeviantArt? I think there are a couple of pieces in her Bleach galary that you'd enjoy. ;)

Good luck on this lovely piece; I can't wait to see more!

oh do more do more