"Corvo's will be arriving soon"
See? There's no excuse for that. If you can write sixteen interesting chapters... wait... those first few WERE pretty brutal, with all the cliches'. OK. If you can write more than ten interesting chapters, and nearly end at fifty K words, then you can TRY to actually WRITE gooder (smirk), better.

'But all was not LOST'

Earlier, you had Corvo agreeing to several of his 'select' group of students, to pay them 10,000G. Then, somewhere in there, said fifty K Galleons was the entire GDP of magical Britain. Also, the Don asked Fudge for 500K, and is now asking Bones for 500K. Ten times the annual GDP? Riiiiiight!

Aaaaand- done.

"as the woman in danger was Daphne Granger, heiress to the Greengrass family."

Does THAT even make any sense to YOU, who wrote it? THAT aint no typo. THAT is just careless, going too fast , and not bothering to proofread.

When did George EVER go to a muggle doctor?
And they ARE still in school. You already had them at the 'Hogwart's finest' meeting. Did you just remember they quit school while Umbridge was there?

Kingsley approached the area and pulled out a piece of cloth.
FROM WHERE?! His pocket? His arse? His mouth, like those magicians do?

You know? This is obviously D.O.A. for ten years now, so I guess it doesn't matter. I'm only reading to see where it ends, but if it were current, I'd quit on principle, for really careless writing. How hard is it to re-read a sentence, and then say "does that sound right?"

"... making legilMENCY impossible." 'Legilmens' is the incantation for the spell. Legilmancy is the actual practice of 'reading minds', or whatever you want to call it.
Why is this stuff hard. You got spells, and you have the incantation to DO the spells. You don't hit someone with a 'stupefy'. The spell is a 'stunner', or the stunning spell. You don't kill someone with 'avada kedavra'. It's the killing curse. This stuff aint' rocket science.

"... and the owl flew off to the sky." From the Slytherin common room. In the dungeons. Below the school. Under ground. Are you keeping up? No windows. No way in or out for owls.
Aw heck. Maybe it IS rocket science.

Oh jeezus! There aren't enough chimeras in the WORLD to use them as a faction in a war. They'd probably kill each other! (if you found more than one) Dementors, giants, werewolves, and vampires are the only viable, organized, group threats in the 'dark' category.

one of the gangsters kicked open a door that had already been blasted open by a breaching charge?

the veela dancers in the club are dancing 'barely naked'? what is THAT? Barely dressed? ALMOST naked? Pretty sure 'barely naked' isn't a thing. (and I bounced, and or managed four strip clubs a few years back)

You should know from "the Godfather" movie, you can never 'be' a Don- if you kill a Don. The Heir to the Tattaglia Family would never kill Don Corleone. It would have to be a younger brother, not the heir, or some other, close 'family' member, not necessarily related.
(That's why Mikey shot the fat guy in the restaurant, not Sonny, who was the oldest. Mikey was never intended to BE Don. )(also a plot hole the movie conveniently forgot, as it went on)

Yeah. Ten year old fic. I know.

"... James Potter, a pureblood Lord of a minor Noble House".

Why do you writers DO that? The Potters, a 'minor' House?! The known relation to the Peverells puts them back into times forgotten, thought to be legend. Harry being(allegedly, supposedly, whatever) Godric Gryffindor's direct descendant places them at or before the year 1000's in history.
Either one gives them 'Noble and Ancient', or 'Royal and Ancient' status, by any known standards. BOTH ought to make Harry the bloody King of England, magical, at least.

Then you guys go and give families like the Malfoys some ridiculous title and 'old money'. They are godzd*mned jumped up Frogs, escaped from the French revolution, leaving their flocks of sheep they tended, behind. Barely 200 years in England, and only crime and corruption to line their pockets, since.
Lucius Malfoy should be shining Harry Potter's shoes, if he wishes it!

I'm still reading because I'm up and can't sleep, but-wow! Cliche' much? It's like a bad mash up of every movie you've ever heard, of that someone was killed in.
I just want to get to the part where this little shit meets the condescending, self-important APWBD, and He tries to control Harry. THAT might be fun.

As to the standards of the people whose reviews I read before starting this? Horrifying.

I don't know much about New York. Are there any ravens living there. Ravens live in England and the rest of europe, but crows live in the U.S. That, and there's a huge difference in intellect. Ravens are way smarter than crows.

(Highly recommend "Quoth the Raven, Nevermore", one of the best Harry Potter fanfics ever. Definitely top ten, maybe top five, and I'm nearing 1100 fics completed )

ps- I googled the ravens in NYC. I guess the first ones nesting were in 2010, so- maybe not 'thousands' of them. Kinda' doubted there were literally 'thousands' tearing that guy apart, anyway. Ravens are HUGE. twice the size of crows. 100 of them would fill a room with nowhere to move.
Call it 'poetic license'. I gotta' go read more.

I'm so sad this is incomplete, there are so few completed crime lord harry potter fics out there. I hope you can continue this fic at some point

are you going to update this story by chance? it's getting really good

this was one of the first fanfictions I ever read and I still love five years later tragedy its deads

Someone should re-start this.

I do love good AUs. I'm not sure if you'll come back to this, but as they say, hope dies last.

This story is good hope you come back and finished this story.

Could you possibly re-start this? This is quite the entertaining story!