will it be renamed?

I'm still wondering what idiot would say no to being a Pokemon!

hahaha very nice story you have going here. I don't know if my last review got through (since I wasn't logged in, whoops!)

ANYWAYS. Comparing this chapter to your last 2, the improvement is greatly noticed! Congrats to your Beta :) And to you! :)

Hahaha, Buddy makes me smile. He's such a noble creature with an equally noble personality! :) I am looking forward to reading all of your chapters and the rest of this story! :)

I see your errors are growing fewer and fewer with each chapter :)

And since I gave you a review, I'd like it if you reviewed one of my stories as well. Unless, you don't want to. But you should still go check 'em out on my page :)

Keep up the great work!

~Afrolady114~

this is pretty awesome. I like the whole "God" Mewtwo thing going on. :) It's about time people viewed that bad-ass as a God :D

Anyways, there's a few grammatical errors here and there, but since this is your first FF, I'll let it go. After all, we all had a first at some point in time. :)

This reminds me of one of my FF's that I have going right now, but it's a Transformers one. X) I do have a Pokemon one (although it is not very long at the moment).

Anywho, enough about me. I will continue to read this and review every now and then ;) (also, great choice of a pokemon :D Vulpix is one of my favorites X3)

Chao!

~Afrolady114~

Hey, Indigo here. I just thought I'd give this story a constructively critical review, since there are only a couple of other constructive reviews here. By the way, those of you giving constructive critcism: Keep up the good work! Heaven knows there aren't enough constructive reviewers around...

Not to say that those of you who don't give constructive criticism are bad! It's good to support authors, just don't overdo it. Too many compliments can be bad, as it can lead to inflated egos and loss of iniative to improve one's writing. This doesn't really apply to Okami, but you should keep it in mind for the future.

Also, if you're still wondering about A Little Night Music, here's what's up. A while back, one of the most infamous V Hunters (Violation Hunter: a critic who actively seeks out stories in violation of FFN guidelines) on found his way to A Little Night Music. Deciding it was in violation of site rules, he had it deleted.

The name of this V Hunter? I dare not speak it, though I believe srgeman made note of him of his profile.

Fortunately, srgeman had ALNM backed up, and he made the necessary changes to comply with site rules, and has reposted it. I believe he did a bunch of revamping, and he is currently working on a sequel, Smiles Of A Summer Night.

But enough of my jabbering, on to the review!

Okay, this is probably one of the greater Reborn fics on this site. It is quite different from the multitude of [Character A dies, is turned into Pokemon B, and goes off to have adventures with Human C and assorted companions] Reborn fics. It cannot yet be compared to ALNM, but that is only because this story is so short at the moment. If you're dedicated, continue writing in your current style, and improve as you go along, then yes, this fic could surpass ALNM at its current rate.

However like any story, there are a couple of things that need a bit of work, and that you should be careful of.

I know I said this when I reviewed Alpha's Word Is Law, and I'll say it again: Be extremely careful with the translator theme. It has the potential to ruin even the best of fics, so treat it like a jar full of pure Plutonium. Frankly, though you seem to be doing fine with it AWIL, so I'm not overly concerned.

Another thing that I consider to be radioactive in a story is Shiny Pokemon. They are the main characteristic of a Mary Sue/Gary Stu! So just make sure not to make Kage extremely powerful or anything like that. Unfortunately, this leads to my next point...

Additional powers and so on are a risk as well because while Shiny Pokemon are common of Sues, powerful Shinies with strange abilities and such are instant quality killers. To be blunt, I'd suggest removing the Shinyness, but since it's of subtle importance to the story, I'll let it slide. Just be careful, Okay? This has great potential, and I don't want to see it ruined like so many others. Plus, I suppose Kage's Shinyness would come in handy for setting up a kidnap/Poketheft sequence, and that'd be a pretty good way to introduce Team _...Eh, disregard that last comment, it's just a bit of useless speculation.

Lastly, Vulpix and Absol are overused. Though judging from your writing and general concept, I think Kage and Lexus will stand out from the crowd quite easily. Nothing to worry about on that front.

Anyway, there were a couple of spelling errors that I noticed that I noticed, being:

Chapter 1-All to soon, the precious liquid was gone.

too

Chapter 2- When I woke up, the first thing that I noticed that I noticed was that I was hungry.

You have an extra "that I noticed". Then again, so do I. (-_-;)

There are a couple of other things. The first is that of your two fics, I actually like this one slightly better than AWIL, though it's a close call. The second is that you should update! I would dearly like to read more of this!

Anyway, this is brilliant! Your writing style is good, characters are well-done ( by the way, good job on Kaylee and Lexus, FirebirdXoX), and Mewtwo (though a bit on the nicer side) is still his grumpy, threatening self.

I'm truly apologetic if I offended you (again), or anyone else for that matter.

*Favorited*

Sincerely,

Indigo

Update this too. I may just decide to eat you.

Its a stupid guess but with the colour I want to take a chance. fire and psychic?

This is great!

Have you stopped writing this story? 'Cause to be honest, Alpha's Law isn't nearly as good as this. I'm cool with you writing both at the same time, but I really hope you aren't going to stoop to the level of other writer's and drop Reborn to Serve.

This story has so much potential, it's enough to make anyone jealous. Kage is a great, creative character, as is Shawn. Kayla and Lexus are awesome! FirebirdXoX did a great job with those two. (I know they belong to her: I read Lunasca's review) Also, she's a great beta. I haven't noticed ANY mistakes since she started betareading for you.

I'm begging you, DON'T QUIT THIS STORY! I think it has the potential to be WAY better than ALNM. Seriously.

Anxiously waiting for more!

I like it so far. Could you please state your update schedule if there is one. I was also a fan of "A Little Night Music" and want to know where it went. Sorry, I'm ranting, I don't think yours is quite where night music was yet but I an enjoying it and look forward to the next chapters.

Oh, Okami. You have so much raw talent for writing, and I'm amazed by how good you are. You do an excellent job describing everything, and I enjoy reading/editing every new chapter so much. This chapter was fantastic, and I can't really say that enough.

As for Kayla and Lexus, you portrayed them perfectly. Kayla was bubbly and overly-friendly, and Lexus was easily irritated and sarcastic. I am about to go nuts waiting for the next chapter. Good work, Okami!

~Shelby

Hehe! Lint.

ALSO. Serious time. Really good chapter! You capture the baby Pokemon's attention span so nicely. Switching from one thing to the next, being overwhelmed with sounds and sights, paranoia about being picked up so often and how quickly they grab her...

Really really really can't wait for the next chapter!

Yes! This was amazing, as usual and I see Fire's chars make an appearance. I like Lexus. Keep it up. Isn't this chapter 3? Considering the first is a prologue just saying as it says the chapter is 4 not 3

For your first story, you're doing a great job. I like pretty much everything here. Kage is a fun character, and she has a very good personality at that. I think she'll make a good partner for Shawn, who seems just as nice. I like how, in the beginning of the story, you didn't really give any storytelling of Kage before she died. It gets rid of any less important details and gives room for more character development later (or at least I think it does). I think it's also pretty funny in places. My favorite so far was the part where Kage is attacked by all the little kids in the orphanage. Probably because I can relate to her. I'm surrounded by little immature kids at my school all the time.

Well, I do like a lot here. Now I'll say some of the errors I've spotted in here. It's mostly just nit-picking, though:

-I think maybe Kage learned to walk a little bit too fast. I think it should take a little more than a few minutes to learn how to walk on four legs. Granted, she still isn't perfect at it, but it shouldn't come so easy.

-NEVER put author's notes in the middle of the text. It kind of ruins the mood you're trying to create in the story. Besides, in Chapter 1, I'm sure the reader can assume that Shawn only hears Vulpix noises coming from a Vulpix.

-Growlithe and Arcanine are really overused pokemon. This is just my opinion, and I don't really have a problem with using an Arcanine as Buddy, but as the story goes along, try using unique pokemon that aren't used very often. It will make it more interesting to read about them.

-Vulpix only have one tail when they are born, and five more eventually grow out. Just saying, because at one point you said that Kage tripped over "one of her six tails." Not very important, though.

And that's about all I found wrong. None of them are very big, so kudos to you. Except for the Author's Note thing; save that for before and after the chapter, not in the middle. You and Firebird do a great job proofreading this. I saw virtually no grammar or spelling errors in here at all. So, great job. I hope your future chapters are as great as these first ones. I'll definitely be looking forward to them.

-Finalsmasher13

great story i cant wait for more updates