OMG

I LOVE takeshi

Nicely done. It was intense cant stop the nosebleed xD

Freaking good! do u know how long it took me to find a lemon for my second ranked characer in KHR and this just made my day

Hmm. I've got to say as a fellow lemon writer AND Takeshi lover...

This was pretty good.

I got the buzz.

I think you wrote the characters a little OOC, but it's also the fact that I'm like a ridiculous KHR addict. I would check up on your Takeshi, Reborn, and Ryohei a bit, but you weren't bad with it really. I just think some of the lines you had for characters were a little miscalculated and/or slightly implausible.

Takeshi keeps a pretty happy and carefree disposition on the outside. He also is confident, but his aggression is more of an indirect/impassive one.

Your third person POV was cool too, how you set it like Harry Potter (only seeing her POV), but I think you made her a little too aware. You spurts of narration had good comedic relief to them too.

Either way, good job. I can see you writing some good lemons with some more practice, mainly on the point of emphasizing on details. Details are what make lemons astounding.

Good Luck!

n-nice one... i couldn't hardly think right after i read the lemon part *massive nosebleed*

it's GOOD~! :D

Me - This if my favorite story in my world! It's so well written! :3..Takeshi..:3

My friend - OMG I LOVED THIS F-ING STORY! SO GOOD! HAHAHAHA I LOVED IT... TO THE EXTREME.!

;D..Ryohei..;D

Ushishishi~ Yamamoto ish adorkable, too, though third in comparison to Bel and Mukuro~ Kufufu~ Niiice lemon; the dorkable baseball dork deserves one xD

i loved it a very good lemon inded

Good fic. As far as i could tell, no grammar or spelling mistakes.