Definitely an interesting start. It’s well written for the most part, but at times it seems a little rushed, such as during the combat scenes, and the repetition of her local ranch twice felt a bit redundant.

The sex scenes are good, as are most of the interactions, but it could be better if you took your time.

Also... why the sudden revenge plot and legendary power up?

Definitely not my favorite chapter of this, by a long shot. There was almost, if not any, reason to kill them off, or at least kill off that many. I'm going to be fairly angry if this was just some dumb way to make him have to use different Pokégirls.

Ignoring that, it's interesting that you had him make the first Dryder. I'm curious if that opens up a new evolutionary chain, or if it was always possible for them to become one but no-one lived long enough to try it.

Hello

well looks like Harry is in here to try and kill Tom he might succeed

This is a really good story.

why the fuck is harry potter in pokegirls

fuck yeah justice for the pokegirls take that team rocket

amazing i enjoy how much detail goes into this

so far so good i like your descriptions of everything

"So, how did you survive?"

"Pixie dust," I replied.

XD I HAVE NO WORDS TO DESCRIBE THIS

Look, I KNOW that I am a sick son of a bitch, but this is MY STORY, so get on the bus or stay on the side walk; either way, I'm fuckin' driving.
Best line ever

FUCKING HARRY POTTER XD
You're a tamer harry

Omg isis the tertorists here

*sigh*

I...

No. I don't regret my earlier review. But I do regret saying a few things.

I'll get it off my chest.

I know you were trying to decrease the team down a few members to make room for Legendaries.

But he didn't remember, until after the fact, he could just change the widow.

And the widow was made redundant when Agatha just casually killed her off. Or whatever happened to her.

So you killed off 4 major characters you'd gotten attached to.

And the funny thing about that whole sequence, was I thought you were writing a nightmare, a bad ending.

Because some authors do that to mind-fuck you. Low quality for obvious dream-sequence.

But it wasn't.

So I'm highly dissapointed.

Just want to explain a bit more, hopefully I won't go down in history as one of your major Flamers.

May or may not read Gold.

Maybe.

If there isn't a bit where Red more or less tells Gold of his mother's departure though, I'ma be sad. I like rants. :(

... I seriously debated on leaving you a review or not. Because by the end of this, I didn't even know if you were worth the few minutes of time it'd take me to write this. I respect fucking authors, but this...

This just pissed me off by the end of it.

I'll start from beginning to end.

It started out good, a decent adventure, pretty fun, good amount of kinkiness.

Then it started...

Devolving isn't the word I'm looking for...

The quality became lacking. The story became more and more ridiculous as it went on.

"I just murdered my sister, who gives a fuck?"

*sigh*

Didn't even give a shred of regret after he figured out Agatha was mind controlling everyone.

I was sorta sad when Isis left. You got attached to her, as you usually do with your flying-type of whatever region.

Then three pokemon you gave to him with minimal explanation, and after two chapters, quite literally did nothing for the rest of the story.

Lucky...

Dear god, I don't want to start, but I know if I don't, I'll never say anything about it.

Like usual, you get attached to her. She became a main character.

Then you just went and...

*sigh*

Basically, I was as flabbergasted as Red when she said it was a charade. And then right at the end, what I just read a couple hours ago, she told her son I ran away to let you do your thing.

If it was a charade, WHY THE FUCK DOES SHE CARE?!

Literally, that whole section threw me for a loop.

She could've waited a couple of years to have a child, a happy one with him. If she didn't care about him, she could've told him that. Not have, what even she should've assumed, to be the strongest trainer in the world after her blood.

Not just for drugging him, and having sex with him, and
taking his child away.

No, she flat-out killed one of his pokemon.

Which also threw me for a loop. The way you casually killed Kyuubi off. I know he had Charizard, but by that point you had just started getting attached to her.

AND KILLED HER OFF!

*cough*

Now that I've ranted and called down some.

Hmmm, what should be the next area...

Safari Zone was actually a shred of light on what turned into a dark story...

How about I just skip right to the main problem.

The Widow.

...

I don't even feel the need to rant.

The one character you got the most attached to, (Almost, if not more so then Flecks, simply because she was such an interesting character) Laela, was killed off in a sentence.

A sentence.

I reread it several times to make sure my vision was working.

Then I speed read, hoping to god it was an illusion, or a trick, or a dream.

But no.

You killed off four of the characters you got attached to, SO EASILY!

I'm all about character death. But you don't kill them off so CASUALLY.

Heck, I liked DG (Or whatever her initials were) so much because she was a freaking female spiderman!

I mean really!

In Silph, the way she was stringing guys up.

It was awesome!

Then Persephone and Blastoise, (I'm so bad with names it's not even funny) you got attached to them. Exotic, green, blue, you were attached either way.

"It sounded nasty"

"Ate her with one bite"

Do you realize how fucking WEAK that sounds? I almost quit the story right there. You were a better god damn author starting out! Hell, I would've preferred you quitting the god damn story instead of making it so BAD!

And then after all that, after a year of training.

Dryder wimps out after being stabbed with her own venom.

You didn't even give a conclusion on what happens to her. I was vaguely interested in her!

Yeah! The one who killed most of his freakin harem!

She seemed like an interesting character!

But nope.

*sigh*

I don't flame, I criticize mostly, plenty of authors can testify to that.

But this...

I toughed it out. I thought the ending would be decent.

But it fucking wasn't. And I don't care if you hate me, but this is one of the only flames I will post, and probably one of the only ones I will not regret posting.

Because unlike a lot of people, if I don't like a story, I quit.

But I thought this was going somewhere.

I'm dissapointed.

I wasn't asking for a perfect story.

Hell, I wasn't even asking for a good one, with a title like this and how it was progressing earlier, I thought it'd be a fun one rather then a serious one.

This is the final transmission from Berlioz, Chaos Lord of the great deity of Khorne. Signing off.