All I can think to say is "Woah". This story was incredibly well thought out, and beautifully written. I could *almost* see this working as an actual episode of the show, except for the length of the story is far too long for a 30 minute episode (would make a good 2 part season finale though), and the censors would never allow that level of death and violence onto a Saturday morning cartoon aimed at kids. But to us mature readers who grew up on the series? Excellent story!

This was a great story. Your characterization was right on.

This is an absolutely fantastic story that is well written, with all of the characters in character and a compelling plot. I read it all in one sitting and loved it.

Great story

I love seeing Original villains

Hope you will give more stories.

Your fight scene between the Duke of Darkness and The Young Ones was totally action packed! Especially the part where Eric stabs him in the leg and Hank tackles him. The Knife and finally figuring out its purpose was cool as well. I can't wait to see how all this turns out!

Great story

love how they undit the duke,s cruse.

hope to see more soon.

I couldn't see the part about Venger being Acharn if you paid me.

Hi Kryschenn,

Everything is coming together - I'm looking forward to finding out exactly what the plan is, and what will go wrong!

There were lots of little character bits that made me smile, esp Eric constantly knowing what DM had told them and the way Hank can get Bobby to do what he's told.

Also very intrigued about Venger, and what he's up to.

*enjoys, and waits patiently for the next part, for fish*

Sealgirl

Well written, good chapter. The most intriguing part was Venger's reaction. What is he going to do? I mean seriously. He isn't going to help the young ones. He isn't going to help the Duke of Darkness. So what? I guess I'll see next chapter.

I am enjoying your story so much. Everything about it is right on character. I can't wait to find out what's really going on.

The mystery deepens. What is this curse? Who is the Duke of Darkness? How will the young ones defeat him? And above all else, who is watering the gardens with salt water and why are they doing it?

Hi Kryschenn!

I’m finally starting to get to the long overdue task of reading and catching up on stories.

I enjoyed chapter one. You had a lot of great details, and the characterisation was spot on. It will be interesting to see where things go from here. My first thought when I started reading was “Hank wasn’t the only one,” and then you answered that amply with Presto’s thoughts.

There were only two tiny areas that need slight improvement. You have a grammar slip or two. The thing that caught me the most though, was that there was no clear transition from Presto’s to Eric’s point of view. It also seemed for a sentence or two that you slipped into Diana’s.

All in all, a good start!

Hi Kryschenn,

I was intending to review the in between chapters too, but I got caught up in this :) And I was constantly thinking "Unicorn stew!" through this chapter...

I am really enjoy the way you have set this up. The curse, the way it works is very good and I'm looking forward to finding out how the kids manage to get themselves out of this and defeat the Duke.

Eric and Presto especially have very good characterisations, and the Eric and Diana section at the end is quite chilling.

*enjoys, a lot, for fish*

Sealgirl

You did a good job describing the townspeople. They really are desperate and in a bad situation. Especially the little kid eating moss at the end. It would be easy to see people cracking in that situation. Can't wait to see how the kids are going to get out of this one.

Hi Kryschenn,

I do love a good missing-episode story, and this is a great start to one. I like how you have shown the events of the Dragon's Graveyard from Presto's perspective, and how it is linking in with the episode itself. But I especially like the Presto and Eric interaction, it feels very natural and was enjoyable to read.

And, of course, then DM shows up and there is the promise of a way home and danger and generally it's not going to go well, is it?

I'm looking forward to reading more.

*enjoys, and reviews, for fish*

Sealgirl