oh no...why did Naruto scream? What it in pain?
Can't wait 4 more!
Please update soon!
Belle 3

Ooooohh keep going plz this is an awesome story and really it doesn't matter abt ur grammar or anything cuz the reader can understand ur point so just keep going this wonderful story ] um…plz?

ummm... your idea's and story was really good but... please dont take this the wrong way but your grammar kind of... sucks. -.- I read your story anyways, though. I liked it, but I would have liked it more if it was written properly.

You need someone to go over your story completely and make a few minor changes. (Not to the plot, just to simply how it's written.)

I'd be more than happy to do it if you'd like, or you can find someone else, it doesn't really matter to me, i'm just offering. And again i'm not insulting you, or at least i'm not trying to. I just thought i'd help you out, that is if you want help... 3

P.S. Can't wait until the next update!

Ah...The ending is killing me!

I love the plot and the pairing,Yami!Itanaru is my second fav from the anime:X:X:X\Love the story and can't wait for the next chappy!

Ohh,,And by the way! Don't worry about your english...I think it's very good! If you aren't confident in your grammar maybe you should fiind a beta!

Keep the good work going!

hi just a simpl quation ... what is a blood pledge? _

Lol eh?

why did he scream this time?

I would be lying if I said that it doesn't need any work doing to it, so I am not going to say that, instead, I am going to say this:

The plot: The initial idea was great, the implied SasuNaru made me smile, thinking that if they were in love and happy, then that would make a lovely little side story perhaps. When Itachi came and abducted Naruto, I would of thought that you would make it more heart wrenching for the reader, maybe by saying what Naruto or Sasuke were feeling that their loved one was being stolen from them with no way of knowing if they were ever going to see each other again. I like that you made Itachi a pirate, I can definatly see him as one :3

Overall, I think that as someone whose English is not that well developed and whose first language was not English, it is a very good attempt at writing something in this language. (I sometimes find English hard and I live in England, so if you were able to do as well as this story in a language that you are not as familier with, then I think that you should be proud of your work.)

Maybe you should consider getting a BETA, I have found mine very helpful in making my stories better than I could of on my own. They would be able to make the sentence structure better for you and make the chapters look longer than they are, like the other people ho have reviewed have said.

Finally, I think that the other people who have reviewed saying that this story is rubbish, since you are not English, should consider not being as stupid as to think that a non-English speaking person, or a person who is not as accustomed to writing in a language that they are not used to would be able to write a perfect fan fiction right off the bat.

well that was F*ed up. again you need to put space between the conversation. trust me you'll get more readers and reviews.

you should redo your first chap. putting space between the conversation makes it easier to read and makes your chapter appear to be longer.

boollaks

This is really good! Though you could make the chapters a bit longer though...but this is definetly a new writing style. I like it. Keep it up and update soon.