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I think the boyish angst is dead-on. It's a fun story; I liked the love letter aspect, although I think Hephaistion might have expressed a greater sense of violation. And I know you're long gone form ATG fiction, or revising this. But if you ever did, I'd challenge you on Alexander's refusal to think of sex/masturbate. Testosterone is a powerful drug. For all his philosophy, and the Platonic overtones are clear (plus you could throw in stuff from Aristotle's Nicomachian Ethics about self-control), I'm guessing he's about 14-15 here? He's going to be "juicing the lemon" (so to speak). Or at the very least, he'll be having wet dreams. It's just a factor of life for boys that age. I would take a WHOLE lot of sexual trauma that he doesn't have to completely shut that down. So I'd have liked to see Alexander wrestling a lot more with the physical, the dichotomy of the "ideal" versus the "actual," which he might see/feel as the "dark horse" dragging him down.

Boys CAN be prudish, just as much as girls. And I'm sure girls can feel powerful sexual desire at that age. (Not a girl, won't attempt to speak to that.) But testosterone is bitch. And if you're ashamed of your feelings, that doesn't stop them, or the physical reaction/release. I speak here, not as Alexander, but as a gay guy growing up in a traditionally Orthodox Greek family. I'm not trying to make Alexander unduly like me, merely to point out that, however ashamed you feel-again-testosterone is a bitch. He WILL be masturbating, having wet dreams about Hephaistion, etc. That could, and maybe should, be a source of further angst.

Been there, done that. Thank God I'm not 15 anymore! So I enjoyed it, and I do think the *angst* is perfectly square, but perhaps some (I hope constructive) feedback on the boys' more physical reactions, especially Alexander's.

This is a great story! Perfect characterizations. I love the development of Alexander's and Hephaestion's feelings. Those letters were so beautifully heartfelt. I also liked the interactions with Philip, who was refreshingly candid.
Your use of imagery was great, specifically the tactile and visual. Nice job showing the passing of the seasons.
Overall, wonderful! So much love for this! :)

I know Philip thought Heph was a possibility, but that was cheeky of him to flirt with the boy in front of Alex, knowing how Alex felt about him even before he knew it was finally physical.
Did you like Bagoas at all? FFH was fine, but The Persian Boy was the most sensuous book I ever read. Thank you for this story. I'm very glad I got to read it.

The more I read Renault, the more I'm thinking this is all right. I used to think like Alexander and stupid old Aristotle. This has to have a happy ending. Did you read The Charioteer? I just read it again for the first time in a very long time, and understood more of it. Look up, if you haven't, the MaryRenaultfanfic site on Live Journal . com. The fan fics are wonderful, as is yours. Did you post this there too? If you want feedback, you would have plenty.
VR

Brilliant. It has to be resolved now. How cherished Al must feel. Sorry for posting like a fan girl to a story 4 years old.

Wow, for the emotion and very beautiful for the style. Aphrodite is not Zeus' daughter. I like short chapters. I can read it all in one sitting. I know this is old and you are onto other things, but I am really enjoying this. Both boys have a lot to discuss once they open up to each other.

So what is your professional name? Please list your published books so I can buy them. Very good.

At the time, Alex was a little backward in that part of his life. You do know the other 'boys' in the school were actually young men, right? Other boys of 11 or 12 were far behind A in intelligence and maturity, except for sex. H was only allowed in because A was nuts about him. They were the same age. I do enjoy how you are presenting this though.

I enjoy your writing very much. You do not allow coarseness into it, as many might have done. Heph was careful not to be rejected, but it was quite a struggle. BTW, I read the last chapter first and I read the books. Last night - 1/8/13 - History International TV showed Ancients Behaving Badly. I checked after Ganghis Khan and there was Alexander. I disliked the things they accused him of. Did you see it? From your spelling, I think you are in England. Do you get History International?

Your writing is very perceptive. I felt a little sorry for Heph in FFH. I never thought becoming an older lover was such a formal thing. I am thinking of Last of the Wine, Alexis and Lysis. Did you read that? Mary never went into details with any of her descriptions. I suppose that is old-fashioned by today's standards, and so was Alexander's feeling that physical love was wrong. I did understand Mary to say he was warm, not hot, when it came to love, which is why he was such a good fit with Bagoas, but I liked Heph too, and hoped they worked things out in a mutually satisfactory way. Aristotle was too Platonic in his thinking. Bet I know who gave him those ideas.

Dear Moon71, I just discovered this and sorry it took me so long. I LOVE Mary Renault and once wrote her to ask why she was not more forthcoming in her explanations. I confessed I did not understand some of the things she wrote, but I was much younger at the time. She wrote back that being explicit would have turned her off. She probably thought we had enough imagination to fill in the blanks. I finally do, but I am really enjoying your version of FFH. Did you read Bagoas in The Persian Boy? Did you write fanfic about his relationship with Alexander too? I would like to see it if you did. Please keep writing. Your style is very readable and realistic. Have you read Jo Graham's Stealing Fire? It has Bagoas, Heph, Ptolemy and Alex in a way no one's ever done him before. I think you would like it. All best wishes, VR

This was absolutely WONDERFUL. Loved so many things about it - the culmination of their feelings, Alexander being afraid of wanting Hephaestion too much, Alexander being the one to initiate 'Round 2'. I especially loved the last interaction with Phillip and Hephaestion, and Phillip slapping Alexander on the back so hard he almost fell off his horse. "Race the old man if you can find the energy." Ha ha! !

Fave chapter so far. Really, REALLY loved the conversation that Alexander overheard. 'I wouldn't scream for help if Hephaestion climbed into my bed.' Agreed!

"Lovers in their hearts and souls." *Snorts* and smacks Alexander upside the head. Loving the angst here. In all seriousness, Alexander's concerns are very well portrayed here and I can empathize with him. On the other hand, I totally get where Hephaestion wants to take their friendship. Can't wait to see them come to an agreement.