This is a cool story
Nice work

All of the Cullens need to mind their own damn business! they are all way to nosy about things that don't concern them.

is Alice going to be annoying through the whole story? if she is k.m.n!

do teens really talk like that?

The idea is great but I think it's lame when people give Bella extra powers. Not only that, but completely unoriginal ones that are just a copy of Edward and Aro. Being a mental shield is incredibly powerful. Adding more is just over the top. Also, she told Alice and Rosalie about her powers way too quickly. She doesn't even know them. And she didn't even recognize her human surname. Using Swan as her last name in this story was a bad call too. You should have picked something else because Charlie Swan would still exist.

Wow! You are so great at channeling Rose and Alice's personalities through this. I honestly think you could make this a whole book and sell it. I'm assuming that I'm super late with responding and commenting on your fan fiction. I'm also assuming you wrote this a long time ago and you're probably not going to see or read any of my comments. Welp... I don't really care. It's the thought that counts, right?

I think you're still amazing at writing-even in Edward's PoV. Great job!

Oh. My. Goodness! You are so talented! I can't wait to read your next chapter! Why do you have the skill I long to have!? It's so not fair! You should honestly write a book! (If you haven't already) I would pay some hard cash to read it!

More! Please don't leave it there!

liar-says complete but its not

I'm not even gonna complain about this anymore as long as this is a known fact then it's all good...Stop. Using. The. Word. Retarded. It. Is. Derogatory!

Never use the word spaz...ever! It can be hurtful to people!

Never use the word retarded...ever!
It is derogatory!

Stop saying that things are gay people may find this offensive!

:( no more?