I only occasionally judge people based on their fiction, but I am completely convinced that whoever wrote this is a legitimately horrible excuse for a human being.

awesome story ne

Five hours of back breaking labor is a pair in the ass. lol wow how the he'll did ranma get a pair in his/her ass it must of hert lol

Looking back at your latest rewrite, I have to say that you have definitely started a good patch job on the problems of this fic. The main ones, being the fact that the narrative was choppy as hell in the beginning, your pace was a little too fast lending an almost contrived edge to the work, and the fact that the characters changed personality far too quickly for it to seem realistic, even considering a psycotic break on the part of Ranma.

I'm especially fond of the way you introduced Ranma to the band in the rewrite though, as it was far more realistic then the method you chose for this (just carelssly throwing it in, seriously good OC's, but really poor introduction) One thing though, while quoting songs is good, never quote the whole song, a phrase here, a line there is good, but just a sheer copy and paste of the lyrics is kind of tacky, at least in my opinion.

Anyway it was a good story and I really enjoyed it, but it will be exciting to see where you take it with the rewrite.

P.S. sorry if that was a bit harsh, but while the idea was good there were a lot of technical problems that took away from the works potential.

P.P.S. Whatever happened to Ukyo?

this has to be the stupidest story ive laid eyes on, the change in ranmas character is entirely reasonless, random, its like the OOC doujinshi series except in literary form and for people who get off on homicide. maybe you should work on foundation so your stories dont crumble into a shambled acid trip

I'm really glad i decided to reread this fic it's going to be very intresting to see how much the plot is going to change with the introduction of the spell and with ranma not hitting Nabiki in this scene. Looking forward to readingthe full revision :D

Nothing much to point out in this chapter. One small typo:

Unfortunately, this was not too be. - 'To' be, alas.

Loyality spell. This is new, perhaps, or has it just been /that/ long since I read this section?

Lookin' good.

Editting comments first:

The older girl raised an eyebrow, moving backo ut of his reach. - back out of

Nbiki tapped her foot impatiently, and Ranma gave her a dark look - Alas, poor Nabiki.

I have no choice, I have to protect him, whether I want too or not! - want to, or not.

In that twisted mind of his, Kitty and cats were forever intertwined, and it was... not sacrelidge, not disgusting, not any true feeling. - sacrilege.

"So... this kind's our next target?" - kid?

Both Crawford and Schuldig started, neither having noticed Farfello's approach- Schuldig had long ago learned to block out the insane man's thoughts to prevent himself from going stark raving man - it's a mad, mad world..

Now, in other news. I like! (Which I should, given I'm reading it again for the.. third? time - glad to see you are messing with it still!)

So, with you revising, and all, do you want spelling/typos pointed out? Looking forward to rereading all the wrongness again. ;)

You know, before I read this for the first time, I didn't have a clue what Weiss Kreuz was all about. It's not really important, but before I read something telling how tall each of the boys were, I thought Omi was taller than he is. I don't know why reading your fic makes me think he's taller than he is, it just seems to. I mean, he's my height!

[2] it's a common phrase...it isn't deserving of trademarkation.

lovely chapter...in fact, lovely fic. A bit unrealistic, but still enjoyable to read. The characterization seems to need a little fine tuning.

lovee it!

Strange beyong belief. I like it.
SM crossover in the next one?

Fingerprints grow back in abought 21 days.

O.o Very gorey and violent. Yay!