oh my god the first few lines had me crying thats amazing. just beautiful.

I absolutely loved this story! Suddenly Fred and George are my two favorite characters, and I wish Winnie was in the books! I stayed up so late reading this, but instead of going to bed I'm going to go find the sequel :) I know I'm late to the party, but thank you for writing!

But you changed from 3rd person to 1st in the middle of the chapter if that isn't confusing I don't know what is.

Called it. And love it.

woo snap that was cute

olivers little speech was A

totally agree with major cartooniac

The first bit was good-ish, and then it got downright cringey.

Examples: The scar. George peeking. You wrote about Fred/George/Lee going after Montague for touching her but you never wrote about him touching her. The encounter with Oliver Woods is random, and feels weird. A dementor comes to their carriage when I think it only comes to Harry's carriage. The "tragic" dead parents backstory.
Also, she is confused about the screaming. Is she not in her fifth year? Does she honestly not know about dementors and what they do?

I might stop reading at the next chapter, if not for your brilliant dialogue.

"See" you next time,

-MajorCartooniac

Hmm... well, your OC fits in with the twins chemistry very well. I'm dissapointed that you didn't write a chapter for her growing up, not even a little bit of transition. That was something I was looking forward to reading.

Anyways, few blips on the Mary-Sue radar: getting straight into the romance with no back story whatsoever? tsk-tsk, also the "having a connection with Harry" thing, and the reoccurring tomboy cliche.

Kinda put off the story.

"See" you next time,

-MajorCartooniac

This was revised? Oh.. um, I still got major Mary-Sue vibes from this, sorry.

A few things that really blink bright on my Mary-Sue radar: a three-year-old is not able to comprehend death, much less have the emotional maturity of a 10-year old. Also, you having an entire paragraph dedicated to her looks is a major sign, and the tomboy cliche.

Other than that, you have a appealing writing style, and a character with an interesting position. I guess I'll find out in the next chapter ;).

"See" you next time,

-MajorCartooniac

Why do they keep calling her Freddie?

You story is absolutely amazing, so creative You make me yell up with tears from laughing and the fact that sometime you just plain out make me cry. You story is nothing like the movies but even better and I feel taken away by your story and All I have to say is Thank you for writhing this.

Alicia!

Can I just take a break and tell you that I love you for following the book rather than the movies? Really. You're wonderful. Ok I have to continue reading now. :-)

This is very good. I enjoyed reading it )

please continue